You are not a button.

Well, there go the early comments. Had to happen eventually. Good thing we've got the built-in ones now. Unfortunately, I was not foresighted enough to believe this blog would really last more than a year, but here we are.

Oh, Scho Bowl. So crazy. So awesome.

So I, figuring I had nothing better to do, just spent 7 hours at the Von Steuben tournament. In fact, it was, the college student who gets up at noon whenever possible, who had to wake Casey up. And so I drove there to drop off Casey and say hi, and well, one thing led to another and I was coaching the B team.

“You guys can’t think of yourselves as the B team. That’s too negative. From now on this is Team A-2.”

They went 1-4… but they are improving. A-team [theme song goes here] went 5-0 in the morning, brilliantly led by Nathanial Ross, with such notable performers as All-Star, Crazy Pete, Jaybird, The Incomparable Mr. Smith, etc. They came within one question of beating Wheaton North, too. It was Ramadan all over again. But if you ever need to know, the ore zinc comes from is sphalerite. Of course, that helped no one, so it was just a buzzer-race on “atomic number 30”. But anyway: Sphalerite = Zinc. Anyway, congrats to the Scho-Bowl team for an excellent performance, and for suitably carrying on our legacy. And a big shout out to Mr. Draski.

So, somewhat at the inspiration of Tonerblog, I’ve just been looking at our early archives. Damn, there’s some crazy stuff back there, if I do say so. And an extremely long argument between Alex and I about my status as a button. Also, love made me rather goofy. Whereas today, love mostly makes me twitchy and forlorn. Ah well. The Girl, though, is still beautiful.

Well, people are starting to get back, but we’re still missing some key players. Marty and I are establishing a terrible track record at event organization, but for convenience, I will blame everything on Kevin “The Mexican” Altier, if only because he’s not in the country to defend himself. Even so, Kevin “The Mexican” Altier is much preferable to The Mexican, which came up during my brief run-in with Kevin and Marty on Friday (during which I managed to drive to a geographically similar, but totally wrong, location which was not in any way a movie theatre). Sweeney really wanted to throw stones, understandably, but, alas, there were none immediately available, despite our being at the Quarry.

Also, hopefully I’ll deliver the first of a new series of rants before Christmas.

Semi-final point: The Kinks are good. I was mostly unaware of them, but The Village Preservation Society is a damn good album.
“We are the Village Green Preservation Society
God save Donald Duck, vaudeville and variety”



Finally, on the continuing theme of "What the fuck, America?". Words fail me.

"We’re goin’ home"

Well, I’m already home, as of Saturday. And awaiting the massive influx of people this weekend, and ensuing madness. However, being home is good, except for leaving the mighty Funk-o-tron in my dorm room. Yes, my computer is named “Funk-o-tron.” It’s far mightier than the one I’m typing on. Anyway…

Being home is also a little strange. I have to get back out of the flow of dorm life. I feel weird eating meals for which I have not directly paid, for example. And having multiple rooms of living space… which is a good thing, actually. And no impending assignments, which is why I can do this.

Now, for those of you who envy me for the fact that I’m done with finals while yours are about to start, consider this: I have exactly as many finals weeks left as you do, thanks to the quarter system. I also invite anyone who so chooses to com down in early June and laugh at me. Actually, same thing goes for anyone still around the first couple weeks of January.

Also, a crazy man with a banjo will never disappoint for entertainment, especially when accompanied by acrobats. I speak, of course, of the indubitable Al Schorsch. In this case, Al was playing background music for a group of jugglers, balancers, and assorted ne’er-do-wells known as the Runaway Circus. I saw this on Friday at our very own Ida Noyes Hall, and it was most entertaining. Thence followed a set from Al and a band called the Grillers, which was also very good in a way that involves the occasional 80’s hit being played on a banjo, and actually working rather well.

Alright. Back to slacking off. But first to clarify my opening quote.

“You and me chasing paper
Getting nowhere
On our way back home
We're on our way home”
- Beatles, "Two of Us"
Not completely relevant, but hey, it's stuck in my head.

Well, I feel that I should make some sort of post. Since it has been awhile, although I don't believe I have anything too constructive to say.

Finals week crawls ever closer here at Grinnell as people are bogged down with papers and presentations. I have two finals and a paper to acccomplish before I arrive home in beautiful Berwyn on the 18th. I'm really looking forward to celebrating Christmas this year (seeing as I spent the last holiday season gettting an internal organ removed).

In other new, "Tulips are Better than One," is a hit on KDIC radio here at Grinnell College. I think last weeks show was particularly good, seeing as we had several people call in to compliment us. The blend of wacky talk interspliced with good music never fails.

Finally, the facebook has finally done something good for me. My best friend from grammar school recently got a facebook account, so all of the sudden we are back in touch after a long hiatus. It turns out that he has a radio show at DePaul. So that's pretty cool.

And now I must depart to Wal-Mart to buy things.

High-school friends are AWESOME!

Special thanks to:
Eric “The Driver” Park
Alex “Only for the articles” McKinley
Peter “Unexpectedly in the loop” Tutanes

Maciej~! “Consummate Buttons” Kasperowicz
Joseph “The Vagrant” O’Connor
Martin “Spontaneous Brogue” Sweeney
Kevin “Inexplicably coatless, but with a spiffy scarf” Altier
Nicholas “Allowed to Touch Her” Kohout
Kathleen “Cutie Katie” Napleton
Timothy “More powerful than fire” Marco

Eric “The much-suffering host” Kurdziel. Tremendous, excellent party. Cannot be praised enough considering the shit he went through for it.

Everybody else I don’t have a humorous epithet for.

The Improv Olympic, and the only unquestionably good thing to come out of Flint.

The makers of “Fun Stones”.

Rolling Stone, for I am newly armed with Disraeli Gears and Rocket to Russia.

And my coat, because it now smells like delicious mountain pine smoke.


And now, back to college, to prepare for the madness of finals week. Whee!

Scene: Room 223A
Zach enters, utterly soaked in a wool sweater, after walking through extreme cold and heavy rain/sleet/snow. Winter is upon us.

Immediately, my iTunes offers up "Here Comes the Sun". priceless.
Zach: "Fuck you, and fuck George Harrison!"


Also, a statement from Shu: "If you blog about me, I'll kill you."

Well, the template will change eventually, beyond changing the background color to a school-year-suitable maroon. But not right now.

After seeing none whatsoever in all the previous course of my life, I have now seen two movie sneak-previews, both right down the street at Ida Noyes. Yay Doc Films! Furthermore, I have seen one sneak preview of a good movie. Let's start with the other one.

Under no circumstances should you actually pay to see National Treasure, starring Nicholas Cage as a dude who steals the Declaration of Independence to prevent the theft of the Declaration of Independence. All this is done on account of an ancient treasure hidden by the freemasons, including the founding fathers. Ben Franklin personally designed old-school 3-D glasses for the purpose. The phrase of the day is "non sequitur." There are brief flashes of goodness, but most of it is unintentionally funny. There are much better movie-going options. Such as leaving the theatre, hunting down Nicholas Cage, and preventing him from ever doing another movie for Disney. But I digress.

The movie you should see, of the two, is Kinsey, the movie that puts the "sex...y" in "clinical sexology". Well, alright, it's not all that sexy or necessarily clinical, but it is a damn good movie. Liam Neeson is supposedly up for an Oscar, and he's very good as the man who invented the scientific study of sex. First, the 50's are just funny for sexual viewpoints. Second, Kinsey is a very sympathetic character without being portrayed one-sidedly. Thirdly, it's just a good movie, acting and story-wise. And if your anything like me, you will cringe more times than you probably ever have in a movie. One caveat: if you go in looking for gratuitous nudity and sex scenes, you will be disappointed, which really makes the movie much easier to take seriously anyway.

Also, I like swords. So I've joined the fencing club team. Up to this point this just involves moving bakc and forth in really weird posture that uses muscles you had no awareness of. These muscles, ?I note, do not like to be bothered. That said, fencing is still cool.

Wheee! Social science paper. A bit hectic around here lately, more updates when things settle down.

But~!
Important news:

Guess where I'll be the first weekend of December?
Yes, that's right, fabulous Urbana-Champaign / Champaign-Urbana, for a College Bowl tournament. See y'all down there.

And... Whoosh! Off to Comp Sci lab.

So the first radio show today was a success...and I also figured out that one is able to listen through the internet...if you go to www.grinnell.edu and just serach the site for radio, you'll get instructions...so if anyone is board Thursdays from 12:30-2:00 in the afternoon, then you know where to tune in!

One a side note, I think Pat should change the blog template. Who's with me?

!~WOOT~!

So...my week long fall break has come to and end. I managed to get a paper written, get my haircut, play video games for several hours, and visit Pat down at U of C. Upon visting his abode I have come to conclusion that Zach is the evil genius, the small chinese man is the coke dealer, and Keith is the heartthrob.

It was good times and I got a chance to disapprove of Kate during several points throughout the evening.

That's all I have time for now...I must prepare for my departure.

Yo, foo...I'm on break as we speak...and tomorrow (Monday) I have a Dr.'s appointment down at U of C...so I'll be in the areas...tells me wheres you's at and I'lls comes to vists ya. Represent.

Now, seeing as I am in the somewhat unique position of being in town even when I am not strictly home, I'd like to put out a general request of sorts.

Namely, when do all of you hip young college students have fall break and the like?
'Cause, you know, we need to have wild and crazy fun times.
Hook me up, people.

And yes, Alex, this includes you.

It's Friday, I'm in love.

Wow, Alex posting consecutively. Very impressive. Which mean I'd better bring in an update. Congrats on the show, by the way.

Mead continues apace, of course. Rumor has it a secondary project of cider exploded.

The past few days , the "where fun comes to die" bit has hit home. Multiple convergent homework and all, plus the Iliad is more boring than I had hoped. I mean, blood, killing, Greeks! What more could you ask for?

But on the other hand, College bowl is spiffy. It's Scho-bowl, but bigger. And we go farther for tournaments. And cosmetically different buzzer systems, for whatever reason. Plus, U of I is in our sectional.

Also, my roommate is the quiet little Chinese guy who you just know is going to flip out and kill people in awesome ways at the end of the movie. Especially so in a red leather trenchcoat (yay! used clothing store!).

Hey...I think I'll post again.

The vice-presidential debate. Luke Skywalker versus Darth Vader. Sexy v.s. Decaying. I think John Stewart put it best:
"A half-hour ago Dick Cheney just unhinged his jaw and swallowed John Edwards whole. When asked why he did it, he responded, 'I needed his life force'" Indeed.

The majority of the American people, however, thought that it went well for Edwards. Apparently, people are not as incredibly stupid as I make them out to be. They could see Cheney lying through his teeth and I guess he came off as old and bitter this time around. One of those grumpy guys who yells "Get off my dang lawn you punk kids!" Which I think is very appropriate for the Edwards v.s. Cheney debate.

I suppose many of you may wonder how Grinnell is. All I can say is it's too jawesome for words. Truly great. Awesomely great. Really.

That's all for now.

Well, as long as Marty is still reading, I think I'll post again. I did, in fact, secure a radio show here. So if you are in a few miles of Grinnell Iowa, be sure to tune into 88.5 fm on Thursdays from 12:30-2:00.

Speaking of Marty, rocketgrande.com is the shizznat. Totally awesome to the max. The orange "!!!" is now my desktop, and someone came into my room and said "whoa, that's a cool desktop" and I said "yeah, this kid I went to HS with did it. You can check out his other stuff at rocketgrande.com and so the madness of Marty Sweeny has contaminated Iowa.

Beat Bush!.....(with a club)

Although I can't beat 10 gallons of mead, I CAN say that I've just returned from viewing the presidential debates. I must say that I found them quite silly with most of it becoming a "he-said she-said" type of exchange. However, I did think that Kerry came off as very clear on his opinions and he provided the better argument on most topics, citing facts and quotes. Bush, on the other hand, spoke in more general terms and did not seem as prepared to answer the questions thrown at him. He was searching for a direction throughout the speech and came off as quite arrogent. (Especially when they were doing the split screen view). When Bush spoke, Kerry was very attentive and jotted down notes. However, when Kerry spoke, Bush looked arrogent, his eyes wandered, and sometimes he even looked guilty. He tried to play the role of calm hot-shot who doesn't think that Kerry is a real threat and I believe that it failed for him.

Ohhh....and the Poland thing...good God. Poland got quite the beating in that debate.

Debates are stupid, but if someone made me pick a winner I would say it had to be Kerry by a large margain.

The most troubling thing was when the republican side was analyzing the debate afterwards, they continued to lie, blatently. They tried to make it seems like Kerry actually flip-flopped during the debate which is totally false. They have absolutely no qualms about just looking into the camera and saying things that Just Aren't TRUE! Apox on thee!

Then we watched the Daily Show afterwards and that made me feel better.

In other college news, I showed a group of people a couple of archived Albatross Hour shows and they thought it was great stuff. I've applied to get a radio show here, but it's kinda up in the air and no one could beat Pat as a co-host. And now, if we did the same style show, I would be the one who supplied the rants...and I am no match for Plange's ability to manipulate the English language to such a great extent. But the current co-host I have lined up (Jeff) would still make things pretty interesting.

Listening to the archives, I realized I fired Pat on air almost every episode. God knows why he kept showing up again and again.

Hmmmm....

Does anyone even read this blog anymore? Oh well.

Peace Out,
The Colonless Wonder

Zach: "Did I dream this, or are they actually making ten gallons of mead across the hall?"

Me: "They are making ten gallons of mead across the hall."

Zach: "I love this school."

Technically down the hall, but otherwise, this exchange is accurate. Yes that's right, mead, a drink composed of fermented honey, most literarily famous in Beowulf, and overall popular with the vikings. This mead is being brewed in plastic two-liter bottles, which bottles have all been given names such as "Samuel L. Jackson", "Bloodric the Bad", or "Nelson Mead-dela".

Just another typical day at U of C.

Okay. wow. College is crazy. I just had aconversation in the hallway about God, religion, packing peanuts, the model UN, and "penis Mario". Woo.

And finally, I just saw Emo Phillips on Conan tonight. Truly, a remarkable man. Also, with an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Quinn, especially in vocal patterns.

And for those of you with no idea who Emo Phillips is, for shame. Go watch UHF.

College tomorrow. Orientation and whatnot. Wish me luck people. I hear great things about this "college" stuff. I suspect it will be cool.

Well, There I was, on the twenty-ninth, ready to start blogging about Maciej's departure, and how truly, summer was over, and how the dramatically-appropriate rain started falling just as we said goodbye to him. Unfortunately, by the time I got home, the dramatically-appropriate rain had intensified to a thunderstorm, and soon after I got home, knocked out my power.

And then the next day I was going with my mother to Michigan on the sudden news that my grandfather (mom's side) was dying. The good news is it was mostly painless for him: stroke, cerebral hemorrhage, and then a few days in a coma. And nearly everybody in the family got a chance to say goodbye, either in the hospital or at the wake or funeral. I saw a lot of cousins I haven't seen in a while, so that part was good. Anyway, I've made peace with things; I wasn't as close to him as some, but he was definitely a good guy, as clearly evidenced by the sentiments of my mom's large and somewhat wacky family.

And then, at the wake I learned that my dad was in the hospital, with pancreatitis. Fortunately not a life-threatening condition of any sort, but still requiring my dad to stay in the hospital for a few days for recovery and testing. And he's pretty much recovered at this point, but it was a rough week-and-half period there.

All this, of course, set college preparation back considerably. Finally finished getting everything together today, but alas, the nothing-better-to-do-tour was not to be. It's something I may try some weekend down the road. Anyway, y'all out there are awesome folks, and it been considerably more boring around here without you (at least, while I've been in this state).

Finally, I will note that this is not being posted from one of the greatest perks of going to college: my new computer. Thank you, discount rates for Unversity students! I have a 17" flat panel monitor which was the default option. Jesus, that is a lot of screen-estate. But it's not hooked up to the internet yet, so I'm posting from the old computer right next to it.

Finally finally, message boards are neat-o.

Not the Cayman Islands!!!!!!!Noooooooooo!!!!!


Bad Hurricane. Very Very Bad.

I learned this week that I do remember how to speak German which I consider to be a minor miracle.

The Advanced Swing course starts for me today, and the Cleveland exchange is next weekend---so by the this time next week I won't be able to walk.

I hate being on duty on Saturday.

Swimming goes well. The NCAA is intensely annoying.

I figured out what kind of research I'm going to do for my Criminology class: how the demolition of CHA housing has affected gang stability.

Oh the times, they are a-changin'

Summer winding down, people going to college. First Kate two weeks ago to be an RA, and then began the exodus.

It's a little bit of a downer seeing all these people go away. And just to clear up what seems to be a common misunderstanding: I am going to the University of Chicago. I'll be here all year, people. Heck, I dont' even start till September 18th, so look for me on the Nothing-Else-to-Do College Tour sooner or later. But forunately I've been able to cram lots of stuff into the last few weeks. Parties and boom-booms and poker and comedy (well, moreso than usual).

- The Planetarium is an unexpectedly good place for dancing, and for wandering around and looking at stuff when you aren’t dancing.

- When you get in a car and everyone else is wearing suit coats, and you’ve got shorts and a shirt, it’s more than a little unnerving.

- Fireworks go boom, awesomely. And may be followed with milkshakes.

- I suck at bowling.

- I also suck at poker, but am undeniably addicted at this point. Practice makes perfect. Life net poker winnings now stand at -$7.00.

- Javier and the Bear were spectacular, nay, godlike beings of musical stupenditude, which is to say they rocked hard, and in a consistent fashion.

- Bait shops are funny, when combined with trucking, and selling one’s eggs.

- There was a man who wanted the police. No one knows if he got them.


People are awesome. I may yet expand on the preceding points.

Also, this summer has witnessed a 700% increase in my music collection, I really should deliver some commentary on the additions at some point.

Good luck to all the college-bound, and the college-already- ... er… -bindled, at Oberlin, ND, U of I, Grinnell, Marquette, Minnesota, and what have you. And of course, the US Naval Academy, where I hold out a slim hope that Ed McGinnis has not been killed in a water-related fashion.

COLLEGE BLOGGING! w00t!

I am proud to say that I'm writing you from beautiful Grinnell College in Iowa. Orientation is pretty groovy so far, and classes won't even start until Thursday. I'm in a rather roomy triple and have everything set up quite nicely. Also got some admirers of the iMac, which is rather beautiful if I do say so myself.

Stay tuned for more thrilling news from Iowa, but I must depart now to check the disturbance it the hallway...it sounds exciting ;)

Ciao

Well, if anyone's still paying attention, golfing did not kill me, as might be suspected from the state of things. I'm just too damn lazy. But Alex is in Wisconsin, so no hope of salvation from there.

Anyway, go go gadget blog!

            Well, I suppose before this weekend hits I should talk about last weekend, as last weekend was pretty good. And there’s more that I have to catch up on too, but I’ll get to that later.
 
            Last Saturday I was at the graduation festival of one Marty Sweeney, and witnessed a concert of Javier and the Bear thereat. Javier and the Bear rocked mightily, if I do say so, aided by the passionate and well-dressed drumming of Afro-Joe O’Connor. The rest of the band was good too; I just don’t know their names.
 
            And the rest of the party was fun too, of course, full of conversation and cookies and chair-theft. One of my better moments being in a conversation about internet videos (not those videos).
 
Marty: Have you seen this video that’s just cat doing all kinds of crazy shit?
Me: Man, cats do some crazy shit… like peyote.
 
            But then I mistook peyote for a mushroom rather than a cactus, thereby hurting my reputation as master of knowledge and knowing things. Or something
 
            From there, thanks to careful planning, we all (except Marty, who had to help the band clean up) drove way the hell north to Superdawg, which amazingly, I had never eaten at before. Supremely tasty hot dogs and milk shakes there, I must say. And I can’t really complain about driving way the hell north (yet), because to most of you, I live approximately “way the hell north.”
 
            Although I suppose I could complain that we drove way the hell south again back to Marty’s, but that’s not really anyone’s fault. There was some unforeseen plan collapse, so we just stayed at there for a while and mostly wound up hitting his car with all kinds of things (accidentally). But it was dent-resistant, so neither basketball, soccer ball, baseball bat, nor any other implement caused damage. That we know of.
 
            Anyway, good times. More updates to come. Tomorrow I golf.

I'm really not sure why Pat chooses to ignore the blog so much during the summer, so i guess I must update it yet again. I was hoping that he'd at least come up with a witty reply to my panda joke.

Anywho, surgery on the 6th and back home on the 10th...not too shabby if i do say so myself. Plus, I feel great not nearly as sore as the previous times (although I did just take like a four hour nap). But my theory about my mutant healing factor is only strengthend.

I have it under good authority that Kate smokes several brands wacky tobbacky at the same time and then goes about have phone conversations that don't really exist.

Movies I've seen recently (before I went into the hospital):

Harry Potter No.3: It took me long enough to get around to viewing it, but I enjoyed it anyway. However, I'm not sure if it was better than the first two. The new director seemed to take the style of the movie away from the strict plot following and into wierder areas.

Fahrenhiet 9/11: Hilarious and somewhat sad all at the same time. Great stuff for Bush-bashers or those looking to see how persuasive film-making is done.

Coffee and Cigarettes: Saw this one at the Music Box. It was fijorkin hilarious, in its own po-mo way. 11 short vignettes with different famous folks such as, Roberto Bengnini, Cate Blanchett, Iggy Pop, Jack and Meg White, Bill Murray, The Wu Tang Clan, Tom Waits, and the very funny Alfred Molina (among others). Highly recommended if you can get out to the N. Side before it leaves.

Spider-Man 2: This was a brilliant movie that can please Spidey lovers (like me) and normal movie-goers alike. Fred Molina also makes an appearence in this one as Doc Ock (small world, no?) All the charcters are great and it sets up well for the next film. Go see it.

I also saw the Cubs-Sox game on the 4th. That was great times. That was the fourth game I've been to this year and the energy was so high. It was almost as pumped as the playoff game I went to last year. Cubbies are awesome. If you do journey up to Wrigleyville this summer, try to find a copy of The Heckler, an free onion-style paper for Cubs fans. There was an article about it in the Sun-Times yesterday and I saw the Ronnie Woo Woo issue around on the 4th. Quality Stuff.

Oh...as a tribute to the D3 blog, I thought I'd share this little tidbit. One of my nurses ended every visit to my room with: "Holla"

A Panda walks into a café, orders and devours a sandwich, draws a gun. fires off a couple rounds, and then waddles off. "Why?" asks the bewildered waiter. "I'm a panda. Look it up." When the waiter checks out "Panda" in a reference, he reads: "Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

Well, maybe blogger has been toying with me for a week or so and I haven’t been able to get anything up. Feh.

Woo! Party! Gradstravaganza officially ended around 3:00 AM Sunday when I got home from dropping my most car-less guests off. Good times pretty much all the way through. Lots of hanging around and chatting, some videogames, some banjo musicality/hilarity from my friend Al, and at the end we just sort of gave up and watched Die Another Day on my new-and-improved super-cable. I also proved my superiority to All present in the field of playing Time Splitters 2 silently (Super-cable interfered with the GameCube set-up. I had to rearrange a whole mess o’ wires Monday to finally get everything booming in fabulous sim-surround sound). I think it was Alex who proved his superiority at darts, although I proved it is possible to do fairly well at darts throwing underhand. Shotgun dart technique, however, has never worked for anyone. There were also some… interesting… interludes provided by my little cousins, one of whom like to sniff people. Thanks to all who came. Best wishes to those who couldn’t make it for whatever reason.

Among the more interesting gifts was Raw Power by Iggy and the Stooges (from Maciej). Which does hold up to the claim “It’s like being kicked in the face by rock and roll.” Powerful stuff. I’m fond of this quote from Iggy in the album insert: “Why isn’t this guage in the red with all the other ones?”. Despite the loudness, it’s not particularly “noisy”, so to speak; It’s just good, loud, powerful music. My favorites right now are “Search and Destroy” and “I Need Sombody”.

Other notably different gifts were d-skins, which are spiffy CD-protecting plastic covers that can be read through, from Alex. Now I can leave even more CD’s lying around without worrying about scratches. There was also an idea-notebook from Al, which was lovingly handcrafted from duct tape and used paper. Odd as it sounds, it’s cool, and probably the most durable notebook I’ve ever owned.

Oh, and let’s see. More dancing Tuesday. I am now moderately competent at the Charleston, although there are some tricky bits at the end of class.

I spent Wednesday geeking out old-school with my friends from… my old school, including the aforementioned Al, Alternate Alex, and Joe. In one day, we went from small-time smuggling to big-time drug-dealing… er, in the course of a game of the Star Wars RPG, of course. I shall refrain from telling you about this in-depth unless there is a surprising demand fro such things.

Oh, and the picture below Alex’s post is really self-explanatory. Ah, the wonders of the internet.

Again, the blog has lied dormant for some time. I can't believe Pat didn't post on the results of his party, so i'll mention it here. It was good times with special appearences made by Columbian Drug Lord Carney, Rascist Ozga, a Classy Polish Man, the 'Fro, Al "the pal" Schorsch and his magical banjo, M. Sullivan Sweeny, Sarah "I like Wine Cheese" Campillo, and many others. Of course, let's not forget that the whole thing was run by Public Assassin Paul Lange and his Accordian Groupies.

There were darts, cousins, James Bond, and mythical waffles....so you know it was great.

In other news...I have my last surgery scheduled for July 6th. wOOt! All this hospital nonsense will finally be done away with. So everyone send be groovy hippy vibes that day so I'll be out of the hell hole known as UofC faster. (no offense to anyone who will be attending UofC...I'm sure it's an excellent college)

Go Cubs!

So yesterday, I got a thumbs-up from a nun for letting her cross Harlem. I figure that’s the best blessing I’m going to get for a while. So I’ve got extra holiness points to burn, or something, especially if I let the Pope back out of his driveway. I wonder if the pope has a driveway for the pope-mobile. Maybe it’s more of a “Blessed Carport of Saint Augustine” sort of thing. Someday I will search Google for “Vatican garages”, but not now. I’m doing important blog-work.

Also I have seen two movies in the past two days. Bubba-Hotep was a little bit odd, but pretty funny. I give it 7 thumbs up. Mmm… Elvis and Black Jack Kennedy vs. a mummy. Now, let’s get decadent. And speaking of decadent, the other movie I’ve seen was The Secretary, which was stranger than Bubba-Hotep, if you’ll believe that. Girl who cuts herself recovers and finds true love through BDSM, thanks to her work as a secretary for creepy lawyer, who finds true love and accepts his BDSM-ness through her. This accomplished through much spanking and meaningful glancing, culminating in tied-to-a-tree-sex. And stuff. Yeah. It was a little disturbing, although it did pull together in the end to be a moderately functional movie. An interesting look at the BDSM phenomenon, and thankfully very much non-porn (It was recommended by a very suspect individual, Kate’s ex-roommate). Nevertheless, no movie I’ve seen has ever made sex look more depressing.

So I don’t know where to go from that. Peace out.

Summer just flies by, doesn’t it, folks? No need to worry yet, though; there’s still a lot of time to go. And fun to be had, especially at, say, someone’s graduation party.

June 19th
3:00 PM-whatever
Lange residence.

Email: Gondolin60@hotmail.com/ AIM: Gondolin60 for questions, details, you need help finding my house, RSVPing, etc.

Now, true to my word, anyone who has read this should consider themselves invited. Some of you will receive paper invitations around midweek based on the possibility that you aren’t regularly reading this blog (for shame!) or I especially want you to show up. But seriously, come one, come all.

Well, it’s been a lazy week, but I’ve been doing stuff sporadically. I went to dance class with Kate on Tuesday. I am now moderately capable of doing a basic Charleston. While I wouldn’t say I’ve been possessed by a fever for the dance, it was pretty fun. So over the next few weeks, I’ll be ready for all kinds of crazy old-school dancing. And should a rave break out, I can flail with the best of them. So I’m a multiple threat. No party can faze me! Well, actually, I can think of quite a few that would. I have no idea what to do at an upper-class British tea party… or a witch-burning. Come to think of it, stumbling unexpectedly into a wild lesbian orgy would probably be awkward in practice.

I admit the previous line may have crossed a line. Obviously, it didn’t cross itself, but it no doubt crossed some other, bounds-of-good-taste-related line.

The point is, Doctor Zoidberg is clearly the funniest Jewish crustacean ever. No, wait, actually, the point was that dancing was fun, and accompanied by a lot of walking around downtown (and buying emergency socks). There were also delicious cookies.

And today launched the official launch of my job hunt, on account of I need to avoid selling CutCo knives, because, well, none of us really want me walking around with a briefcase full of knives, right?

And so, this post shall come to a close, because if there was anything else I wanted to mention, I’ve forgotten about it. But you, gentle reader, don’t forget about that party, and/or hooking me up with any other parties as maybe transpiring.

Well, I haven't posted on the blog for some time now, so I feel an update is in order. Graduation was uneventful, but the summer will rock. I mean, just look at the snazzy new blog design! Napes' party rocked the preverbial socks. I danced so much I was sor the next day. Thankfully Joe O'Conner's party was a little more subdued, although there was some hot badminton action involved...so kudos to the 'Fro.

Now for summer fun. Kate keeps trying to culture Pat and I, which is nice, but we'd rather just frag each other to death in some sort of video game war...but either way...

Birthday was nice...people gave me a lot of stuff for college (Grinnell shirts, etc.) Kate and Pat gifted me with the 2-cd "Three Dog Night Story" All the Three Dog Night I'll ever need. (seriously, nobody give me any more!) Tutes hooked me up with Let It Bleed, an excellent choice from someone whose taste in music can range from delightful to questionable.

But now, in honor of the summer and me being 18 (cigarettes and porn! WOOT!) I'll give our faithful readers a present. Just check this out:

http://www.amiten.com/Punya/cartoons/dodo.mpeg

I guarantee you'll laugh and watch it at least three times. Enjoy.

Yes, yes, the background is bright yellow now. It's summer time. Gotta snazz the place up. Because we here at Albatross Hour are working round the clock to give you the best blog-viewing experience possible. No, really. Fine, the clock we work around is a stopwatch. It only goes up to about 15 minutes.

Also, happy birthday to our very own Herr Hosentrager!

Remember, people: General Absolution outranks Corporal Punishment.

Ahh. 2:00 AM. Riding a little too much caffeine, watching anime, listening to new Beatles CDs, writing poetry, thinking deep thoughts.

Summertime, how I missed you.

There have been parties.
There will be dancing.

And always with a-doings a-transpiring, provided I can track people down.

which reminds me, my party is on the 19th. Chances are that if you're reading this you're invited. But I've yet to hash out all the details, so stay tuned.

And I am going to write a little cool something-something when I get around to it, hopefully the day before yesterday, but that fell through.

Least-of-my-worries poll: Which of these Beatles tunes should I use as a wake up track?
A. "Good Morning, Good Morning"
B. "Here Comes the Sun"
C. "I'm Only Sleeping"

Vote Early, Vote Often, people.

Neglect? Piffle. Harrumph. Humbug. Statements of denial and disbelief…. And now, continuing with your regularly scheduled sporadic update:

As I understand it, something important is going on tomorrow. That is to say, there’s a-doin’s a-transpirin’. And we have now sufficiently practiced for all kinds of graduation, matriculation, and mastication. Frankly, I was a little worried about this whole “walking in line” thing, but I feel ready. I am in the zone for walking in line. Hoo-ah!

And so, having been done with school for two days now, brilliant test-taking and last-minute project finishing have brought my grades back to appropriate levels. But that’s not important, because we’re done.

And even more importantly, yesterday was full of coolness, despite the ungodly hour of the Odyssey trip. Though there is some possibility that I hurled a sausage directly past the captain. But at least I didn’t ring the bell. No, someone else will have to suffer that one on his conscience. Although the boat left the breakwater for approximately 36 inches of travel, our voyage was a fabulous nautical adventure. Or something. But it was fun, with more gay couples and black porn than I had ever been involved with before.

After landing and much random yelling at people on shore, I rolled to the zoo with Maciej, Kevin Altier, and Katie “Hi, I’m white!” Napleton, and met up with a whole fabulous group of people. And we looked at animals, because animals are cool, especially polar bears. Quoth Dave Monteagudo, “When I grow up, I want a polar bear.” Personally, I’d rather cut out the middleman: When I grow up, I want to be a polar bear. Penguins are cool too. And we watched some kind of seabird for at least twenty minutes. It was that great. We saw just about everything except the farm. And who cares about the farm, right? We got some ice cream at the lagoon, and I played a rousing game of catch-the-fluff with Kevin.

More fun was had today at Erik’s Delicatessen after graduation practice, after complicated negotiations determining where we were actually eating. Anyway, odds are that if you’re reading this, I’ll see you tomorrow. Look out for a very special post tomorrow too.

Congrats to Alex on Grinell!!

Even though that means that means he won't be doing laundry and eating at my house now.

But I know that he really didn't want to study abroad in River Forest anyway.

Well, this blog has gone neglected for quite sometime.


I now have a blog of my very own (ooo, shiny) http://www.farfullingalong.blogspot.com

Some may ask why this is; 'it seems so sudden, I mean can't we talk about it, you aren't really going to walk out like this, I can change really?!?'

Well, long story short...I need a blog so that friends at Oberlin know what's going on with me this summer (I'm rarely on AIM in the summer) (although the Obie bloc been lobbying me to get one of those livejournal things, although quite honestly, between you and me, those things are a lot of upkeep. I just don't know if I'm high maintenance enough to go livejournal. Livejournal might be a little too personal for my tastes as well.... I ..I...just don't know if I'm ready to bare my soul on the internet.

Reasserting my identity as an individual person with ambitions, dreams, goals, emotions etc. all of my very own (again, shiny), one could say would be another reason for the gettage of own blogage, so to speak.

But I'll continue to post on this blog, especially with regard to issues, problems, concerns,etc. from the homefront.

In other news,
Rockapella kicks ass.

Good morning

Yeah, Waterpolo. Saturday was damn cool. That was the most intense Fenwick sports event I’ve ever been at. Fans yellin’s and screamin’ and clappin’ and et cetera. And from what I know about waterpolo (which is nothing), I’d have to say those were two great games. Boys mostly led, with a little trouble in the middle of the game, but still a pretty close game overall. The girls match, as you’ve probably, went down to the wire with a beautiful last-second tiebreaker. IHSA was listing it as an OT victory for a while, that’s how close it was. But the fans knew there was time, because that place ex-ploded. Awesome. Awesome cool.

Thence to Ledo’s with a lovely group of people. Only got slightly lost: right road, wrong direction. Fortunately while I was lost people were rearranging the planned location anyway. The “more fun than Jesus” incident has already been related by Maciej. “More X than Jesus” is my new way of forming the superlative, BTW. For example, “Bob Dylan is cooler than Jesus”.

Which reminds me, the first candidate for my “Danceable Dylan” mix is “Subterranean Homesick Blues.” Try it sometime.

And you know what else is awesome? Coming home after crazy fun times and finding the Girl on AIM, at which point it’s past midnight and the 15th has rolled over into the anniversary. Yes, ladies and gents, it’s been one year now since last JuProm made it official. And it has been a crazy, wonderful year. And in just under a week, she’s back again. Whee!

And then there was today. Honors convo was as long and tedious as ever, but I got some nice stuff. I think our overall winner is Ryan “Razor Ramon” Kiefer, master of the Spanish language. But I think the biggest cheer went to Eric Park, for something like “special achievement in choir”.

Final note: Ask Sweeney about Van Helsing.

Long time no post. Much exposition must take place. Prom was fun. I have a free George Foreman grill for an unrelated reason. Explanations shall come in a day or two.

Also, next week, Albatross Hour's grand Comeback Farewell Special. No show today, because the tech guys locked down the studio. Coming soon: Prom, the ranting.

My thoughts on the week:

Nowhere in Africa: The best movie I have seen so far this year. stunning..
Run Lola Run was good too.

I love Gerhard Richter. Gerhard Schroeder ist toll.

I should avoid Econometrics like the plague.

I miss being in a major metropolitan area. ]

I haven't listened to the radio in a really long time.

BBC and NPR radio-my new favorite radio stations

In heaven, the rock musicians are all Brittish.

Alex doesn't dance enough. I hope he dances this summer otherwise we'll have to go up to Halsted and Waveland on June 26 so that I can dance with members of the opposite sex.

I got my summer work schedule, and I got a raise. And I'm working at Stevenson Park in FoPo, so I'll be really close to the El' for the CCFR internship which means I don't have to run like hell from the El' to work everyday.

Fenwick's choice of date for the graduation of the class of 2004: Who the hell has a graduation at 7pm on a Friday night? Come on people. And of course it directly conflicts with the Stills concert because it's only a FRIDAY night in the summer. WHO WOULD SCHEDULE A ROCK CONCERT ON A FRIDAY NIGHT IN THE SUMMER, YOU KNOW??!!?? Why would anyone ever schedule entertainment events on a friday night in the summer, do people even go to those anymore.

Class registration: Done in 4 mintutes- a new record for me.

MyFall 2004
Modern Dance 101: Somewhere my mother is rolling her eyes.

Dirty Wars and Democracy: on the dictatiorships of Brazil, Uruguay,Chile, and Argentina (evidently Brazil and Uruguay had dictatorships at sometime during the 1970s-1980s-who knew?)

Introduction to International Relations:

Intro to Philosophy: There was a really cool Religion class on the Immanence of Buddhism that I wanted to take, but if you take it you have to go to Japan for Winter Term, and if I'm an RA and on the swim team Japan= no go. It would be fun though if I could have been in the class, I wish I could have been. Then I could be like, "Mom, I have to go to Japan,...no I didn't know anything about it, evidently it was part of the course though..., I mean I really have like no choice in the matter...I guess I'll just have to make the best of it and go to Japan. So anyway, point being, instead of a religion course I figured that philosophy and I might get along better. We've never been formally introduced to each other anyway, so...why not hook up now?

Intermediate German: Because I WILL study abroad in Germany. And as we say in 102: German ist zuper kuhl. German is so much cooler than Spanish, and this time I won't get stuck with the professor who's from Berlin-yay!

Advanced Swing Dancing Exco: so I can learn shim sham, shag, balboa, more lindy. fingers crossed on aerials. My goal is to be good enough to teach the class as an upperclassmen.

Sadly some of this will have to get dropped with the whole RA gig, and swimming. But I did get all my first choices so I'm really quite delighted with it.

I have a 10 minute oral presentation that I have to work on for German class. Mine is on Chicago in der Sommer (Summer), that and I have to memorize Der Loreley for the Blauersalon next weekend. With each week that passes, the air gets heavier with the angst and stress finals.

Finals, finals go away. Come again some other day.

Tschuss

Hey hey!

So I've been rather busy for someone who had 5-hour surgery a week ago.

On Thursday I went to "Al's Char House" in LaGrange with M.C. Captain Crunch. We were suprised how long our food was taking so we asked the waiter (an asian man in a cowboy outfit). He said: "New York strip take longer to cook."
When the food got to the table we saw why. I kid you not...this steak was 1' long and 6" thick. If my dad had eaten the whole thing he probably would have gone blind and died. So we're eating steak for the rest of the weekend now.

Afterwards, we went to see Master and Commander. An excellent film if I do say so myself, and I don't even like Russell Crow.

Friday was fantabulous. We went to the wicked awesome Cubs game and had a hell of a time. For those of you who missed it, not only did Dusty throw the best fit I have ever seen, but the Cubs were behind the whole game until the 9th inning when Sammy and Moises hit back-to-back homers to win it! Sammy tied Ernie "Mr.Cub" Banks for the all time Cubs HR record at 512! Needless to say the entire 40,000 present went out of their minds. I thought the upper deck was going to collapse. So many drunken fans! If that's the only Cubs game I get to attend this year, I'll be happy.

On the "L" ride home we also got a free show. Some lady thought it would be a good idea to get up and preach to all the sinners on the train. She kept it up for a good half-hour until her stop came. Basically, God is awesome and I owe everything to him. However, I don't need to go to church anymore because that's just a crooked institution. I'm sure Kate would have shouted "Amen, sister!" Crazy people are fun.

That ranks up as my second best ride on the Green Line. The first was when Julie Koziol lost $40 to a crooked cup and ball game and Pat tried to win it back for her.

I got the pictures back from Drag Ball, if you're interested.

Yep. So Alex has once again foiled my plans to visit him in the hospital by recovering so quickly. On the whole, though, I’d say that’s a good thing.

So I’ve been off on a whirlwind tour of the Midwest, which is to say, Ohio and Michigan.

In the end, I did not manage to attend the drag ball, although Oberlin was chock full of transvestitism in preparation for the big event, ranging from hastily-donned dresses to week-long, body-shaving, prosthesis-adding feminizations. Kate and I visited the team preparing “Janita Swan”, and it was really very… impressive. The glitter writing of “DIVA” on the back of the underwear was an interesting touch. I hear he got second-place in the judging. Yes, there were judges. You wouldn’t expect the biggest drag ball in the Midwest to not have judges, would you? Fascinating.

Ah, Oberlin: putting the “liberal” back in “liberal arts” as always. They have an environmental science building that can recycle human waste, so of course they had a big event encouraging people to use the toilets there. They were serving free vegan (and regular) brownies. Although after looking at the vegan brownies, I really wonder why they even bother trying. Besides that, I did a little more touring of the campus, visited the art museum with Kate and my family, and saw a piano recital which I nearly fell asleep in, due to a combination of factors.

And then, off to Michigan to visit the relatives for Easter. Of course, we drove up on Sunday morning, so we didn’t get to church. I think that move me officially into “heathen” territory (or “non-practicing” for you politically-correct types). Fairly boring actually, but alright. My grandmother is making me a quilt out of old blue jeans for my graduation, which is sort of a cool concept. Aside from that, I spent probably too much time playing with my cousin Kyle’s X-box. But hey, I can now say I’ve beaten HALO (he did most of the work; I followed and shot the things what turned my crosshairs red).

And so I returned on Tuesday, fully intent on visiting Alex, only to find out Wednesday that he had been out of the hospital since Sunday. Durable bastard. On the whole, it’s probably a good thing. The morphine withdrawal has driven him mad, though. Well, maybe, he was pretty mad to begin with.

And somewhere along the way in the earlier portion of the trip I read Quicker Than the Eye by Ray Bradbury. Bradbury is the man.

The bored amongst you should play 20 Questions against the computer at the new link. It's remarkably good sometimes. It figured out platypus in 13.

I'M AAALLLLLIIIIIIVEEEE!

Ahem....well...yes...anyway....surgery was fun...sort of...I guess....or not at all....either way.

It was done laproscopically (involves cameras and robot arms) this time so the recovery was faster. They didn't even give me a morphine button. They just stuck a "medicine tube" into my spine (the same kind of business they give women in labor). Also, major props go out to Sween-Dog and Anti Semitic Tim for their visit. Hell Boy and Superman comics along with a baseball signed by Tim "Rocket Socks" Martin made that green jello go down so much easier.

I'm convinced that I have a super mutant healing factor ala Wolverine because I just keep bouncing back from these surgeries....and it would be really cool to have a super mutant healing factor.

I was born with a plasitc spoon in my mouth,
Maxwell

Wheee! Spring Break.

Also, new link in the Madness section, "I've seen things."

Well, as long as everybody else is updating the blog, I think I'll post, too. Besides, Sween-Dog yelled at me the other day for not posting in awhile. (Also, ask to read his "Confessions of a Derbisol Addict", quality stuff)

Things have been decent over the past couple weeks. Khyber Pass was yummy. Rushmore was good until I fell asleep (I was just lucky I didn't wake up naked in a corn field in Indiana with 50 cents taped to my forehead. I hate it when that happens.)

Radio show yesterday focused on the cyborg menace and unoriginal names for cats and dogs. Listen when they archive it, it's good times.

I'll being going into the hospital tommorow @ 6:00am for another surgery. I'll be there about a week (what a great way to spend spring break. Some go to Jamaca, some to Mexico. Me? I go to the University of Chicago Hospitals to get cut open. YES! Free morphine, too!) I better see some visitors or else I'll kick all your butts when I hobble back into school after break.

Pat, Peter, and I have Abbey Road names now:
Me: Maxwell Silverhammer
Peter: The Sun King
Pat: Mean Mr. Mustard
Polythene Pam is still open....any takers?

With deepest lack of colons,
Maxwell Silverhammer

It always takes forever to get home from Oberlin, and an instant to get back to get back to Oberlin. craziness


It always looks preetier here when I come back to. I blame relativity.

The Khyber pass was good; I think I just like Greek and Mexican food more. I really like Greek food, everything except that cheese that they light up that I can never remember the name of; but Alex will and then I'll be 0 for 3 between smoking the Mary Jane, Fiddler and on the roof, and the whatchamacallit cheese. I wouldn't know how the Nan tastes; I wasn't fast enough.

Someday I will see Goodbye Lenin!

See, I finally go away to school and can go where I please without parental juxtaposition and there's nowhere to go. On the upside, not going swing dancing Friday has allowed me to get the coolest dancing shoes ever, so that's happy. I will go to Ida Noyes every weekend this summer to spite meine mutter now. She and I are really going to be duking it out this summer, esp. with class and interning in the city every day- (victory will be mine.)

Next weekend: Drag Ball. My friend Chris has offered to lend Pat both a dress and shoes; I think this will be a new kind of peer pressure. Leave it to the admissions office to have all the admitted students come to Oberlin, the same weekend as Drag Ball. Next time maybe they'll get Safer Sex Night and Parent's weekend to coincide. Drunken people in drag vows to be an interesting show for the Lange family.

Oops. It seems to be next week already. Time keeps doing that to me. Space is out to get me too, actually, so I’m just trying extra hard not to piss off gravity, because there are only so many fundamental features of existence I can deal with at once.

But anyway, the Week of the Girl has come and gone already. Alas. It had its ups and downs, but it was great to see her again. But, first, chronological order: So last time I posted, I was anticipating the Napes party, which was, true to expectations, awesome. I am addicted to air hockey; I beat Maciej, but kept losing on the last point after that. Whee! Air hockey! Then there was lots of dancing and craziness. So I bravely and intermittently attempted to dance. “Come On, Eileen” is more danceable than one might expect, especially with crazy leg-flailing. Sweeney nearly died after that; it was funny. I blame the derb. Other people have covered the party already. It roxxored.

Then there was Friday. I got to pick up the Girl at Midway, after looping around only a few times. Traffic near Midway is madness, of course, but easy enough to deal with. After negotiating which, I took the Girl home.

Saturday was complicated. Seeing Fenwick win state in hockey was cool, although the best part of the game was Eric Park’s “Janda… I’m having your baby,” sign. Then we took a trip down to Rolling Stone along with Peter, because Ohio just doesn’t have as many opportunities for low, low prices on music. I got Bob Dylan’s Bringing It All Back Home, and it’s good. Mmm, crazy surreal lyrics. Also, “Love Minus Zero/No Limit” is worth the cost of the whole album.

And then, let’s see, what did I do Tuesday? Yes, I ate ice cream at Petersen’s, and it was good. I had the hot fudge turtle, and Kate had a banana split, which she really liked. And, of course, we got photographed and put in the Tribune the next day, for an article on rising dairy prices. Ellie was there too, as evidenced by the pair of hands in the lower right. That’s what she gets for sitting on the other side of the table. Before which Alex and I did the radio show, which all y’all should listen to when they put it up. It’s a good show, good music, and lots of talk about the E-Baby incident. Then Alex and I watched a seagull eat slices of cheese that we found in the link. He would circle around for a bit, and then he’d come down and we’d be like “Yes! He’s gonna eat the cheese!” and then the seagull would come down and start trying to eat the cheese, and eventually he’d manage to pick up the whole piece and scarf it down. This happened twice, and then the next piece we put too close to the school, and then we were out of found cheese. Truly it was the most awesomest bird-related experience I have ever had. But then I got to go from there to ice cream, which is even better than cheese, even if they’re both related to the rising cost of dairy.

Friday, unfortunately, the attempted swing-dancing plan failed, which was very disappointing, especially for the Girl. But eventually we managed to have a good time anyway. We (myself, Kate, Alex, Peter) had dinner at Khyber Pass, which was my first experience with Indian food. Tandoori chicken tastes suspiciously like most other kinds of chicken, but Nan is a very impressive interpretation of bread. Speaking of Tandoori chicken, yes, I ate meat on a Friday. meh. Then after much debate at the video store (although the zombie lobby was crushed early on) we rented Rushmore, which is a pretty funny, occasionally weird movie with an excellent soundtrack, during which certain people fell asleep. And then it was good-bye to the Girl, and back to pining for me. All in all, a good week.

Also this week, Colleges and stuff:
Chicago- Yes
Oberlin- Yes
Stanford- Waitlist (Boo!)

So I’m down to Chicago, U of I, and Oberlin, each of which has its advantages, with Chicago being the best overall but most expensive, U of I having a really good computer science program but somewhat locking me into engineering, and Oberlin being willing to give me a nice pile of cash and being a good liberal arts school but probably not all that great at the computer science. While I’m figuring that out, I’ll have to send Stanford a nice “things I have won since last I wrote” list to try and persuade them, and see what happens.

So yesterday, I went to Chicago’s admitted students thing to visit dorms, and that was pretty neat. If you live in the off-campus dorms, you can get a really huge room, because they made them out of luxury hotels. The on-campus dorms aren’t bad either, but they don’t have a living room. Choices, choices, choices.

Hmm. Haven't posted in a while. Week-in-review tomorrow or so.

But on the subject of countdowns:

twenty, twenty, twenty-two hours to go-o-o
I wanna be sedated.

But I do, in fact, have something to do and somewhere to go. I'm off to the Napes B-day party in a moment.

A week from this Friday,
On April 2, 2004
Java Jive:
Swing
8:30-9:30 Free lesson
9:30-12:30am Dancing
@
(University of Chicago)
Ida Noyes Hall
Third Floor Theatre

The ONLY place to be Friday Night.


No excuse not to be there, if you don't know they'll teach you.


Anyone who wants to meet up for this oh so joyous occaision: email, AIM, or phone me.

Cause I'm goin

On a similiar note: a rant by Kate

Dennis Kucinich will destroy us all.

From the birth place of avant garde, I'm very tired over here of hearing about Dennis Kucinich is so wonderful, and how he should be president

A summary of my thoughts on the matter:
1.Dennis Kucinich is an idiot.
Electing Dennis Kunich would destroy the U.S. economy, followed closely by the world economy. Apoclapse
2.All people who protest against free trade and NAFTA are idiots.

Boy, days like today make me so glad to be out of highschool.
It would have killed me to sit there and watch that performance today.
I would have been willing to pay money to be the one who answers the questions though.

Student: Why does God make gay people?
Kate: Why not? Gay men who actually come out of the closet are a joy to the world. So neat, so tidy, so well coiffed; they make the world a better place in so many different ways.

Second of all, it's just a thing, a simple matter of preference. I'm Buddhist, Betty is Jewish. Susy likes women, Carrie likes men, and Miranda likes everybody and squrrils. That's the way the cookie crumbles and that's why we have PETA.

Ah, Catholicism, you would think that with all their past huge messups they would work on taking the beam out of their own eye before going after anybody else but no. For all the hats, jewelry and tassels- that never occurs to anyone.

Soooo....according to the little talk today at school, being gay is a disease. Actually here's how the conversation went:

Student: Why does God make gay people?
Speaker: That's a difficult question. Why does God give people leukemia? Of course, I'm not saying being gay is a disease. But why does God make serial killers?

There you have it. If being gay isn't a disease, then it's akin to being a serial killer. What an enlightening presentation. I'm so glad Finkwick wasted my time. Sheesh.

In other news, Pat has a magical watch that's counting down to the say when Blake can be president. He also confessed that his relationship with Kate lost him Jimmy Hendrix. And I quote: "Well, the flaming guitar sex was good, but the relationship didn't really have any substance." Hmmmm.....

I'm convinced that Jon Stewart listen to The Albatross Hour and steals material from us. But I can't complain because of all the jokes we've stolen from him over the years.

Bunbury

Be sure to tune into the radio show tommorow; we plan to make insulting comments towards Texas' capital punishment system. If you missed last week's show, it has just been archived...so hit the link for some good times.
I also encourage everyone to click on the Albatross Shop link and check out Pat's rockin' T-Shirt designs. Now you to can own your very own Dr. Funk designed Albatross Hour apparell.

I'm watching Jesus Christ Superstar right now and I am convinced that it is the Best. Rock Opera. Ever. I don't feel bad that it was the basis for almost all my knowledge of the life of Jesus. What better way to tell the story of our Lord and Savior than through song and excessive electric guitars? Instead of going to see the Passion of the Christ, I think everyone should just rent Jesus Christ Superstar. I guarantee you'll have more fun.

Pat had a very interesting experience before first period today. It involved Brian Mitchell, Trish Tardella, and lots of sticky, red juice. I'll let him give you the details.

Buddha finds you sexy.

I amHastur! The Unspeakable One is the master of those who seek to unveil the mysteries of death. It is through meditation upon the Yellow Sign that the devotee of Hastur seeks transcendence to the city-realm of dim Carcosa. Through a complex series of visualizations that expand the aspirants void-consciousness, the final age will arise. Ruled by the ominous King in Yellow, a new stage of reality will come to fruition. Of the Olde Ones, Hastur is considered to be one of the most difficult to work with, his teachings being reserved exclusively for the Cthonian Adepts and Lords.

Which Great Old One are you?

Ha! I'm such a cool ancient!

So, besides being Shub-Niggurath...

We won sectionals! W00T! Scholastic Bowl sectional champions an what not! It was close, but we pulled out of a three-way tie with a 34-point lead. And it was good.

I am Shub-Niggurath! Shub-Niggurath is often called the "Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young", and is the force of creation, life, evolution/mutation. She represent the force of the one universal constant (ie change) on the biological. She is often envisioned as a dark, low lying cloud, with goat's hooves with numerous tenticals writhing from within. Her rites are best performed during a New Moon, or on Mid-Summer's Eve.

Which Great Old One are you?

In the spirit of jokes about European nationalities:

How can you tell a gregarious Finn?
He looks at YOUR shoes when he's talking.

How long have I had that joke lying around? Well, there's really no way of knowing. Apparently, the Finns are shy. I would be too, if I had fins. I assume they have fins. No? Drat. But I'll bet none of you realized that the Scandinavians had their own sets of ethnic jokes.

Yes, let's see. Yesterday was the day of the packing peanut. Remember, corn starch is edible, Styrofoam is not. After you've had a few, the corn starch actually kind of tastes good, although perhaps "taste" is too strong a word. They're like Cheetos without the cheese, only more bland. I only ate 5. I mean, that's not completely weird is it? I only did it to convince other people they were safe to eat. In case they ever need to survive a famine and have only packing supplies, they'll know to eat the packing peanuts first, and not, say, the cardboard boxes or the bubble wrap. I am all about helping people survive the coming apocalypse. Speaking of the Apocalypse, I hear it's coming in 2012, around Christmas. The ancient Mayan calendar apparently only goes up to there. Cubs fans, get ready. 2012 is your year. I, for one, anticipate the Cubs-Red Sox subway series eagerly. Armageddon less eagerly, but there's a downside to everything.

Although, if I'm am wrong about 2012, my next guess is that the Apocalypse is what Sweeney is counting down to over on Toner. Of course, his countdown seems fairly enthusiastic, what with the tildebangs. And it's coming rather quickly, by the looks of it. Still, the man has some nice comments on the Passion. Now, to shift away from secondhand blog-reporting before I become insufferable rather than just incoherent...

Now today, today was the day of the "thousand party" in 5th-year Math. We got to page 1000. It was a magical moment, really it was. There were doughnuts, and cookies, and vector fields. Also, we continue to fuel the simmering feud between math and physics. Hopefully it doesn't spread, or we may be on the verge of civil war. Everyone will have to choose sides. Brother will turn against brother (I'm thinking of the Kinnares here, although Rog doesn't seem to like either of them).

"Who did the homework? Who did the homework? Nah, I'm just kidding; I didn't do it" -PK, last semester.

Also, Kevin Altier can name three hundred Pokemon. This is... Fascinating. I'm trying to leverage it into another masculinity gain.

Can't think of anything else to ramble about today.
Motto for the week: "Doing better than biology."

From the back of a T-shirt last night in Aikido; lots of good reading actually off T-shirts in Aikido last night:

In heaven the police are British,
the mechanics are German,
the cooks are French,
the lovers are Italian
and the Swiss organize the place.

In hell the police are German,
the mechanics are French,
the cooks are British,
the lovers are Swiss
and the Italians organize the place.


I must be a pseudo-German Swiss person, not being mechanically inclined at all. And if anyone is offended, just remember that my entire family is at least a card carrying member of at least one if not several of these groups.

And I found out that Don is in Cleveland Swing because he was wearing a t-shirt from one of they're exchanges, so after Aikido was over I asked him about and he ended up showing me the "arm breaker" aerial dip for jitterbug. The really nice thing about the whole situation is that Don and his wife are trying to get back into the swing dancing scene and have a car, and are willing to drive with college students. Hopefully I'll be getting to Cincy Swing exchange the weekend of April 1; I'll just have to go beg Tom for a ride or Kate to go home that weekend.

Bokken practice (Aikido swords) tonight and lots of Bio reading mit Deutschstunde Haüsaufgaben. This is my super insane weekend.

Does anybody know with ticketscalping, whether they prosecute the scalper or scalpee, or both? Branden (friend from RA experience, swing dancing/Taylor, and Aikido from who's Connecticut (or as I say Connect-I-cut)) was showing me the "bing bing" for lindy hop while we were waiting in decafe for smoothies after Aikido and we got in a discussion about which one it was. Some how that degenerated into a discussion about industrial size packages of gummibears and reselling them for a profit- so speculating on gummibears. All of a sudden I really want to play Monopoly.

Tschüss, für jetzt

Kate

At the moment:

Lola Stars and Striped- the Stills (the Still's website allows you to play the entire cd) check it out
Mermaid Ave. - Billy Bragg and Wilco (courtesy of my sister and brother in-law)- Walt Whitman's niece, Bed of California Stars
Chutes too Narrow- The Shins
Dandy Warhols Rule Okay?
13 Tales from Urban Bohemia- Dandy Warhols
Nico-my own mix


I need to figure out how to put up a calendar of shows etc. because there are so many while I'm back on spring break-

My latest realizations:

March 26, 2004
The Vic
the Vines & Jet (I'm going more for the Vines, but everybody's got their thing)
$20

April 23, 2004
The Ravonettes
the Aragon
(I'm still trying to finagle my way to this one)

Dear John letter to my Bio major,

I can't hate myself enough to be with you anymore, it's just not working out. I go to lab and count out hundreds of beads for hours for genetics experiments for you. I spend all my waking hours reading you, noting you, studying you and to what end. What more do you want from me? You ask too much of me. I have given you the best years of my life. I'm leaving you.

And yes there is someone else, Politics. He doesn't make me spend ever waking hour with him. He's so much fun. He's just soo hot. I push on him and he pushes back; all you do is push and all I do is get pushed into walls. I can't say no anymore to him. I want him. I hope that someday you will understand.

Sincerely,

Kate

Hey !!!!
Really good concert coming up - while I'm on break no less-

At Schubas
$10 April 1, 2004
The Decembrists

That the rate things are going, this is going to be the spring break of concert hopping and swing dancing- I might head out early during the last weekend of break to go to the D.C. exchange, if Taylor can take the car with her. Fingers crossed. Zurück aus Deutsche.

Tschüss

Radio show today! We finally got a slot in the afternoon.....so now I predict we'll start showing up to do the show. Anyway, we have tons of triumphant return madness to share with our listeners, so I encourage you all to check us out.

I must also say how much I disagree with posting long sets of lyrics on the blog.....songlists are acceptable, that way we can go out and listen to the music ourselves, but I don't want to sit here and read music...that's not what it's for. Unless, of course, there is one really powerful line of lyrics that you would like to use as a quote to make you seem profound.

I also must express my deep sadness at the demise of LarsenBlog. Why, Larsen? Why?

Some guy from the Sierra Club called me last night and told me why I should vote for Barack Obama. I told him I already planned to....I think that made his night.

Raplh Nader is secretly a Republican who is trying to get George W. elected for a second time. Therefore I have a message for him:
You already ruined one election you ego-maniac, don't do it again!
Sadly, I doubt Ralph Nader reads this blog and, therefore, I don't think he'll get my message. Seriously, I can't believe he's running...it fills me with so much rage.

If you would like to hear anymore of my musings on politics and life in general, I encourage you to tune into the radio show.

Verliebt, verlobt, verheiratet 'n Kind gekriegt, geschieden, raus.

Time is a bothersome entity. Also, the blog-block is still very annoying.

Yep. So I’ve been doing stuff. Most importantly I did stuff on Saturday, so I’m going to talk about Friday first. I saw Return of the King again, and it was better this time. Take that, Larsen (even though the demise of the Larsen blog fills me with a deep, ineffable sadness or moderate disappointment). Before that, it was watch the girls thrash Jacobs 77-26. That was excellent. Now on to Saturday:

Got up early and mooched a ride down to Normal with K-to-the-Ohout, at what some might call an impressive speed. Then I watched the Friars lose a close one to New Trier, which reminds me, I still want to know what a Trevian is, but I don’t care enough to look it up. Anyway, unfortunate loss, but the cheering section was pretty powerful. I can’t say I contributed much, not being a great cheering type, but I tried.

Then we were off on a whirlwind tour of Normal, finding out that Main street just up and becomes a one-way street for the heck of it. Eventually we found the theatre playing Starsky & Hutch, which had it moments, but wasn’t particularly good. Thence we proceeded to the park and played football. The Ducks/Christ-Punchers/Christ-Punching Ducks put up a valiant effort, and were down by only seven points when we broke and ran for the swings. It was brilliant. Then there was some Lava Monster-ing. Sweeney and I, we’re good at that game, because we realize the better part of valor is raw, shameless cowardice. That’s right, we sat on the highest available point and were invulnerable. We rock.

Also, before I forget, My lifelong goal was fulfilled during lunch at Steak and Shake (Woo! Go Rog!). Anyway, Kevin made the mistake of giving Maciej the “dude man” speech, so, yes, I am now more macho than Kevin Altier. He may have gained some ground by being quarterback for the Christ-Punchers, so it’s kind of up in the air at the moment. On the other hand, Captain Napes picked me first.

Then the girls got to end their season with a win, and gave a pretty convincing beatdown to Marian, 69-50, although there was a scary spot in the first quarter when they were down by about 8. More cheering, in a slightly less densely-packed formation.

Then everybody else went home, sadly, so no wild partying for me. Naperville Central won the championship, and Kohout got some pictures of the award ceremony. I ate dinner with the Kohouts, and Nick and I schooled the population of a sportsbar & grill by means of an electronic trivia game.

And speaking of trivia, go Scho-Bizzle. Regionals tomorrow. We shall crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations of their women. Or something less barbarian, if we must.

And as long as we’re talking music, my selection of albums for the ride down and back to Normal:

Captain Beyond-Captain Beyond
Revolver- the Beatles
Weezer-Weezer
Blood on the Tracks - Bob Dylan

How about those gay people. Anyway, now that Alex and I have been outed as straights, we're going to go out and watch sports events while cheering and hooting in a manly fashion. Actually, I'm probably goin' to get down to the girl's basketball this weekend, but I don't know about the hooting.

In a highly controversial match (read: blatantly biased) match, Varsity Scho-Bizzle lost to the teachers by 2 points, although 15 points were judged to be awarded in a manner not in agreement with standard practice. But Kohout beat Fr. Lapata to "transubstantiation," and that was a truly beautiful moment.

And tomorrow, two things linked only by being abbreviations, JETS and OC.

In the tradition of blogs mentioning music, I present your semi-random 10-minute songlist of today:
Beatles, "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey"
Captain Beyond, "Dancing Madly Backwards"
Bob Dylan, "Changin'"

So how 'bout those Oscars. It was a clean sweep for LotR--11/11. I guess the acadamy felt bad for not giving the first two movies lots of awards, so they just dumped everything on the third one. I guess it deserved it, but I did feel bad that other things got shut out because of it. Speaking of being shut out, I feel bad for Bill Murray. I know Sean Penn was brilliant and all, but I also know that he'll go on to make a bunch of other really powerful movies. However, I feel that this was Bill's last chance at Oscar glory and it would be an excellent cap to a long illustrious career.

I'm writing this in the library and I'm watching Padre Winky try in vain to fix a computer. It doesn't look like too serious a problem, but he's having loads of trouble. I guess that says something about our technology department and PC's in general.

Kate thinks Pat and I have a faux friendship just because we don't have gushy spill-all talk sessions. I think she needs to realize that guys don't feel all that comfortable with a deep talking bond. I think she's confusing us with a gay couple.

Napalm Strikes,
Alex

Silly Anagrams. I'd say Pat has too much time on his hands, but then again, he doesn't sleep so I guess he doesn't have all that much time.

I'm not sure why I continue to predict doom with college. I had a really strong feeling that Pat and Kate's relationship would de-rail and explode in a magnificant fireball, but that didn't really pan out. Now I predict that Pat's brain will melt when he goes to college. For his sake, maybe I'll be 0-2.

I drew a monkey on my APES test today....I figure I'll either lose points or get extra credit (the monkey was explaining what waves in a light wave, so at least it was somewhat intelligent). The test itself was rather amusing as the essay question involved much repo bashing.

Note: 5 stories is a long way down. Plenty of time for things to reach terminal velocity......and explode.

Climax Keenly <-- good advice.

There are days you feel half-dead in the morning and have not slept so you may as bloody well sing "Mother Nature's Son" for no apparent reason, although you don't feel much better for it. Then there are times you've got more energy than an electrified squirrel and you may as well sing "We Are the Champions" in a big enthusiastic group. In fact, you may as well sing anything you can think of all the way home, while riding with your three big trrophies. That was Wednesday. When one of the answers to a question is "blog" you tend to figure maybe its your day. And it was. Go Scho-Bowl! League Tournament Champions! I will, briefly, dance; you won't see it, but trust me, there's dancing. I should go to more Tournaments on 3 hours of sleep after writing essays.

But the essays did get done. I'm not terribly happy with them, but meh. I don't have to deal with them anymore, and maybe I'll get some scholarship money.

That took up rather a lot of my weekend, and repeated lack of sleep did a number on my digestive system, so I didn't show up on Monday. Also, Alex is a horrible mean person. But it's ok, because he's genetically incapable of saying something positive if it involves me and anyone going to college. This is a proven fact.

And Fenwick took first in Archdiocese yet again. I got thrid, which is not bad, but I would have gotten second if I'd noticed m had to be positive. And I was pretty much not going to beat Joe Pacold regardless. Good times, anyway, with Kiefer and Fogel.

I know I promised stuff about how macho Kevin Altier is, and I'll get to that eventually, because if I don't explain people will think I'm weird.

Instead, I'll talk about anagrams, because anagrams are all kinds of fun. Anagrams are when you rearrange people's names to spell stuff, for those not in the know. All of these with the aid of the Internet Anagram Server:

Patrick Lange:
NAACP ELK GRIT
PACKAGER LINT
PLACATER KING
PIG CANAL TREK
CARNAL KEG PIT

Katherine Anzinger: A Thinker in Zen Rage.

Alex McKinley:
ACE XYLEM LINK
CLIMAX KEENLY

Ryan Kiefer: Yak Refiner

Tom Larsen: Mortal Sen

John Pisani: Ninja is Po', Join Spain, I Join Naps

Nick Kohout: Hi, Knockout! (Give it up for the Player King, folks)

Albatross Hour: A Labor Hurts So.

And so I will end with that, because I've got to sleep and whatnot. Maybe some more anagrams tomorrow.

Good News: I'm going to be the RA for the building in which I'm currently living. Better news: it's a smaller building, and it's a program house, even better news: not only do I get a open double room and all its furniture, I also get a my own bathroom!!!!!!WHOOO!!!

Pat would have a great time with Jane Eyre- my favorite book of all time. Stay away from the moors. - bad things happen on the moors.

I don't know about Pat flunking out in a month. Pat's kind of like an underdog that way, even though its his own bloody fault, and he should not do it; you still kind of want to him to win in the end. I don't know how he does it but, he does. Although, he may not always be able to pull it off, but he hasn't gotten nailed with it yet, which is what amazes me and he's been doing this since he started school. I guess that by this point, one doesn't want Pat to lose because it has gone on so long that he'll only lose big.

Because the first thing I think of when I think about Lent is party. Why paganism went out I will never understand. ever, it was soo much cooler.

Look! I laugh in the face of Fenwick and continue to blog during study hall. Take that corrupt technology department!

In English we were choosing research paper topics. I wanted Robert Louis Stevenson (any excuse to read Treasure Island again) but unfortunately someone beat me to the punch, so I settled with Gilbert & Sullivan. They're rather comical and I think the topic would keep me entertained. I know that Larsen and Lange are just dying to do their papers on some piece of the women's movement.

George Bush decided to bash the dems yesterday. He targeted John Kerry in particular. Dubbya kept on talking about how he's such a great wartime president and how strong he was during 9/11 and a bunch of other bull like that. I look forward to watching him get crushed in the debates. Of course, that doesn't mean he'll lose. After all, last year he got crushed in the debates (I don't think he ever actually answered a question) but he still got to be president. The fact that the supreme court appointed him to the position negates every positive thing they've ever done. The way I see it, they have no way to redeem themselves (unless they appoint Al Gore as Supreme Emperor of the Moon).

I like how Pat was faux sick yesterday. That's what you get for procrastinating and trying to reach deadlines. In my humble opinion, Pat will flunk out of college in a month. (Either that or change his whole philosophy on getting things done). Let's just hope Kate gets him into shape ~whip noise~

Tommorow's Lent....let the fasting and dreary purple decor commence!

Wow. The government just cannot keep a website up. Presidential Scholarship site is having server problems. Well, best keep writing essays.

A vignette by Kate, coauthored by Pat

Where we left off: Alex had just posted that

"Speaking of Pat: He recieved a Valentine from Kate yesterday, via Elle. It said "You are loved" in German.......however, it DIDN'T say "I love you". The phrase "you are loved" could be refering to anyone. Kate could have been talking about Pat's Mom or Peter Tutanes. The whole thing seems very fishy to me. There's also the fact that it was in German (a language Pat does NOT speak) as opposed to Latin or English (languages Pat DOES speak). In my opinion, Kate's cheating on Pat with a heavy-set, bearded, leather-wearing biker dude. Pat's only chance to win her back is to face him in the circle of death (and Pat hasn't had much luck with that lately). "

the vignette starts:

zingerkca: have you seen what Alex has posted on the blog yet
Gondolin60: yeah
zingerkca: k
Gondolin60: soooo, what's his name?
zingerkca: Juanb
zingerkca: shit Juan
zingerkca: can't spell
Gondolin60: no, no... Juanb has more character.
Gondolin60: heavy-set, bearded, leather-wearing biker dudes can't spell either, so it works out.
zingerkca: that's true. he's unique. and I love unique, so Juanb it is
Gondolin60: Then I must swear vengeance on this "Juanb"!
zingerkca: or banuj
zingerkca: or junba
Gondolin60: junba is a girl's fake name.
zingerkca: how do you know
Gondolin60: cause it ends with a. It's feminine.
zingerkca: or bunja
zingerkca: or cowa bunja
Gondolin60: no heavy-set, bearded, leather-wearing biker dude could have that name. The constant mockery would kill him.
zingerkca: its made him strong;-)
Gondolin60: But emotionally hidden. You'll never tear down the walls around his true self.
zingerkca: how do you know!!!!
Gondolin60: because... he is my long-lost half-brother! Dun-dun-DUN!
zingerkca: Oh MY GOD
Gondolin60: YES!
zingerkca: NO!!!!!!. Then I don't know whose baby????
Gondolin60: WHAT!?
zingerkca: I"M PREGNANT BUT I DONT KNOW BY WHO!!!!!(sob)
Gondolin60: GASP!
Gondolin60: BUT HOW?! WHEN?!
zingerkca: (faints dead away)
Gondolin60: --tune in next week for the exciting conclusion!-- has Pat become a member of the criminal underground?--will Kate find out whose baby it is? and is Casey in league with Juanb to take over the world? Find out next week!!!!

See how I post so much less now that Fenwick's blockination device is set? This truly grieves me.

So Pat's Presidential Scholarship is moved to Monday....that just means he'll be procrastinating until Sunday night to do it. Don't try to defend yourself, Pat. That's just the way you are.

Speaking of Pat: He recieved a Valentine from Kate yesterday, via Elle. It said "You are loved" in German.......however, it DIDN'T say "I love you". The phrase "you are loved" could be refering to anyone. Kate could have been talking about Pat's Mom or Peter Tutanes. The whole thing seems very fishy to me. There's also the fact that it was in German (a language Pat does NOT speak) as opposed to Latin or English (languages Pat DOES speak). In my opinion, Kate's cheating on Pat with a heavy-set, bearded, leather-wearing biker dude. Pat's only chance to win her back is to face him in the circle of death (and Pat hasn't had much luck with that lately).

In real news, Ralph Nader is thinking of running for President again. If he does, I'll be forced to hunt him down and stab him in the elbows. He ruined the last election for us, he doesn't need to screw up this one, too.

I really have nothing else to say....although I look forward to Pat's reply to my comments.

Whee! Who says government interference is a bad thing? The deadline for the Presidential Scholarship has been moved back to Monday! Originally, it was due tomorrow, and I was going to have to stay up all night writing and sacrifice a goat to the elder gods to get it in. Anyway, miraculous breathing room. Which means had I known, I could have partied down with the OC people today, which is bothersome, but I did get some work done. Next week.

Before I get off-track, what is the Presidential Scholarship, anyway? It is my one and only chance to receive a pile of cash from the Bush administration is what it is. So it would be nice to get. It takes about four pages of essays though, and a lot of it is BS-ish self-promotion, but I'm trying not to complain. And If I get it, I'll be real damn special. Only 121 get selected. Of course, it's guaranteed that there's at least one boy and one girl from each state, so If I lived in Wyoming or somesuch, this would be lot easier.

I have got to keep Alex away from my Valentine's Day plans too. At the time he wrote that bit about extravagance, I had no such thing planned. Fortunately, I cleverly engineered such a gift plan at the last moment, so all is well.

Speaking of Valentine's Day, Scho-bizzle played in the first annual Fenwick Scho-Bizzle Tournament ( next year we'll get Draski to put up a banner that says "Scho-Bizzle Tournament"). We got fourth, which was respectable, but it came after some damnably close losses to Iggy and Marist. On the other hand, we only got that far after a couple heart-stoppingly close comebacks, so it evens out. However, the most important thing is that Brooks Smith can SING. Which is awesome in itself, but we got him to sing "Scooby Dooby Doo" (beautifully) while we all pounded the beat on the table. Yeah, you bet the other teams looked at us funny. But it was a moment.

Not to overwhelm people with Scho-Bowl business, but we're also now league champions, after we won the last two matches of the season yesterday. Boo-yah!

That's enough for now. Next time: conceptual BLOG, OR "Why my goal in life is to be at least as macho as Kevin Altier."

Due to Fenwick's evil blog blocking ways, I find myself checking this thing a lot less now. I mean, what else am I supposed to do in study hall.....study? Not likely.

Cubs get Greg Maddux.....WOO! Super JOY~! Finally the son has come home. I think I'll go kill a fatted calf now.

John Kerry=Cool Master 9000
George W. Bush=Square
Just ask Newsweek

English is boering (yes, I spelled it with an 'e')

Good night all.

As another member of the press, I too am greatly offended by the blockage of our bloggination device. I believe it is a result of the bad language used on some blogs or the fact that Siby had links to game that Fenwick didn't know how to block. However, I was under the impression that Herr Nieto enjoyed reading the blogs, and I know for a fact that he has one of his own. This seems like an odd move for Fenwick, but they have blocked stranger things. Besides, their motto is: "We must only use our power to annoy!" Stupid censorship! It's like living in Mother Russia.

Here's my funny story of the day:
We were spending Thursday's study hall in the library, when Dr. Lordon (aka The Gerrymander aka D Lo) came up to Maria Latz and told her that "there's no such thing as a free lunch in this country." He then proceeded to force her to join the Genesis Gospel Choir because he paid her $40 Oak Park Gestapo parking ticket. This has taught me never to get myself into a situation where I'll wind up in D Lo's debt. However, now that I think about it, the first word that comes to my mind when I think of Maria Latz is gospel.

Tommorow is St. V's Day. I hear tell that Pat has a spectacular, extravagent, clever, sexy, expensive, fantabulous gift lined up for his wife. We'll just have to wait and see.

Well, I feel legitimately compelled to whine and moan. Fenwick has blocked blogspot. This bothers me, because it greatly reduces my audience of bored study hall people. And it offends me, as a memeber of the press, to have my audience restricted. Bleh.

Hello Latin Scholars! No time for a long blog, but check out the last link in "Madness", "An Oration on the Fondness for Large Buttocks". Yep, translated into Latin and back. It's hilarious.

You know what's awesome these days? People starting to seriously question George W's past and present. Every time there's another report about those missing dates in his National Guard service or everytime a columnist writes about how they feel betrayed and the Iraq war mess makes them sick, I get a little more hopeful. Until someone digs up a scandal on Kerry, or until his wife says something bad and kills his campaign, things aren't looking all that bad. Just cross your fingers and stuff the ballot box (hey, they encourage multiple votes on American Idol and I've always said our government should be run more like a TV show).

So, how 'bout those Haitians? I think that instead of worrying about some arbatrary comment made in GTA: Vice City (a video game, mind you) they should concentrate more on the bloody coup happening in their own country. So what if Rockstar claims the Cubans want to "kill the Haitians", when Haitians are killing Haitians, I think you've got a bigger problem on your hands.

In other news, that big "helping" quiz in English class blew big time. So much for boosting our grades. Now we need another quiz to help us out of that quiz's poor performance. That class is becoming too ridiculous for words. Let's just say that I know people who are getting a 33%. (No, it's not me.) Madness.

On the afternoon of the fifth day look towards the East....it's a long weekend! I suggested a road trip to Oberlin, but Pat is quite the skeptic. He figures we'll die horrible deaths before we even reach Ohio. Oh well, he's probably right.

Well, you could say today has been a bit up and down.

OR, you could say today has been an emotional tour de force of epic proportions.

OR, you could say "On the first page of War of the Worlds, there is ejaculate," as Kohout so eloquently phrased it, after Siby said that my role is to ejaculate. Anyway, we're not sure what happened to Kohout's copy of the book, but it probably involves hot science-fiction action of some kind.

Anyway, best things first, the Scho-Bizzle beat Timmy Christian by a commanding margin, thus catapulting, nay, trebucheting us into first place in the league. James K Polk got me a tossup, for being President when America reached the Pacific. Also, we beat Brother Rice. Finally, the Greek god of love Eros will now officially be referred to by his 'hood nickname, E-Ross.

Annnd, The AMC-12 was an ugly massacre of a test. Some damn fool was in love with circles this year. Bothersome. Of course, talking about it allowed for a briefening of math class to about 10 minutes. Then we finally got started, I got picked to read, which I like to take advantage of. The key to reading dull, stodgy textbooks, I find, is emoting all over the place, with all kinds of emphasis, flying-quotes, and the cheerful energy that makes "The moving walkway is no ending," into such a truism.

In English, because quizzes have been bringing people's grades down, we get to take... That's right, a big quiz on the most boring material available! I mean, the romantics were a fairly kickass movement, but their intro is long and dense. so bleh.

And Kerry now has the mastery. People are committed to voting for the frontrunner because he's the frontrunner so he'll stay the frontrunner. That's what voting on electability means; you vote for someone because you think other people will also vote for him. Not that I mind Kerry; he did vote against the defense of marriage act, and I'm terribly fond of the gays (though not of the buttsex and all that)... Erhmm... Yeah, Lizzie and I (reminds me, I ought to link to her) shared a high-five cheering for the gay people. I don't rightly know what provoked that. Anyway, civil rights for all, miniature American flags for some.

No show today, but anything that stops Alex from eating babies can't be all bad, can it?