A Reading from the Book of Irony

A wise man once came to the prophet Herschel and said, "O Herschel, the men who mumble in the bus station say you are a great thinker. What is the meaning of the life of the spirit?"

The prophet replied, "One thousand years in the barrel of a gun."

The man thought a while. "Anticipation, yes, but everything depends on the condition of the gun."

Said the prophet, "Yes, but everything also depends on the one who pulls the trigger."

The man went away unsatisfied, but later the prophet Herschel received a lucrative television contract.

Church scholars remain divided on the provenance of this passage. Some date it as far back as the first century BC, blaming the obvious anachronisms on an overly loose translation from the original Urdu. This original has not yet been located, but the style, they claim, is distinctly Urdu. A majority of scholars, however, conclude that the passage was adapted from writings in a bathroom stall in a Milwaukee bus terminal, presumably placed there by the prophet himself, and was incorporated into the canonical Book of Irony sometime in late August of 1983.