What the hell.

So I realize that the whole cicada thing is at least marginally a big deal. That is, if you're a naturalist or bug fanatic. Once every 17 years, blah, blah, etc., etc. But if I see one more news story about people eating the damn things, I'm moving to some country where they eat bugs all the time and consuming them is not a newsworthy story. Because eating bugs is not a newsworthy story. I repeat: Eating bugs is NOT a newsworthy story. Unless you're on the elementary school playground. In fact, my 12 year-old sister's classmate ate one, but he's not in the paper, and for good reason. If eating cicadas floats your boat, then more power to you; feast while the feasting is good because your next chance won't role around until I'm almost 40. I'm just saying that we shouldn't be reporting on the matter.

It all started with the SunTimes, Chicago's very own piece of garbage posing as a legitimate news publication. The day after the cicadas emerged there was a story about a columnist eating one. Fine. There's bound to be at least one story on the subject, so it might as well be covered by the city's tabloid (appearing on page 3, no less).

But the onslaught doesn't end there. The Tribune devotes a large section to ways to cook cicadas. The brilliant conclusion? A cicada will taste like whatever you cook it in. Now that's what I call need-to-know information. Now there are reports of cicada eating contests, and cicada eating parties. The local paper in my neighborhood (The Berwyn Life--I'm calling these idiots out) devotes its entire front page to eating cicadas. Aside from being unoriginal, the article is NOT newsworthy.

Oh, and that 12 year-old sister of mine has another classmate whose mother was just paid $100 to eat a cicada. $100. And it was even breaded and fried. Hell, I'd do that for $50. Anyone want to put up the money? I'll even report about it right here.

Thank the cicada gods that this madness only comes around once every 17 years.


Just in case our fair readers are so inclined...
Courtesy of NPR:

El Chirper Tacos

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons butter or peanut oil

1/2 pound newly emerged cicadas

2 serrano chilies, raw, finely chopped

1 tomato, finely chopped

1 onion, finely chopped

1/2 tsp ground pepper or to taste

1/2 tsp cumin

3 tsp taco seasoning mix

1 handful cilantro, chopped

Taco shells, to serve

Sour cream

Shredded cheddar cheese

Shredded lettuce

Directions

1. Heat the butter or oil in a frying pan and fry the cicadas for 10 minuts, or until cooked through.

2. Remove from pan and roughly chop into 1/4-inch cubes/ Place back in pan.

3. Add the chopped onions, chilies and tomato, season with salt, and fry for another 5 minutes on medium-low heat.

4. Sprinkle with ground pepper, cumin and oregano to taste.

5. Serve in taco shells and garnish with cilantro, sour cream, lettuce and cheddar cheese.

Good grief.