Monday, April 06, 2009

Listing

As far as I can tell, the only way one is allowed discuss Hip-Hop is through lists. Therefore, let's jump right into the meat of it. I give you the five best rappers alive. This is a fluid list; artists are always one bad career move or bus slam away from falling into obscurity and/or the grave. A quick note of criteria. To be the best alive you have to be:
1) alive.
2) prolific.
3) relevant.
4) talented.


1. Obie Trice
Detroit is filled with great rappers, but perhaps none have the raw talent of O. Trice. His flows are unparalleled and his wordplay never gets boring. A platinum-selling artist, the two albums he dropped on shady records are classics, especially Second Round's On Me. The mixtapes he did with DJ Whoo Kidd are equally impressive. Not to mention he's as real as they come. Now that he's free from Interscope's stifling bureaucracy, he can pursue his own projects, so hopefully we'll be getting a lot more product from him in the future. Look for his album Bottom's Up to drop on his new Worldwide Hustle label this year.
I put together a tape of some of his rarer tracks:


2. Eminem
Remember what I said about Detroit? The white boy always brings the pain, and is the closest thing the game has to a relevant legend since Jay-Z got bored and started watching movies. Em's production slowed to a faint trickle through all his rehab business, but the new album (Relapse, for those of you who live under rocks) is slated for May and with public anticipation bubbling over, the next rapper on this list is about to learn a thing or two about record sales. To prepare yourself for the new Em, check out some rare old Em--his first LP with some funky beats and a laid back flow that marks the time before he rapped about the occult:


3. Lil Wayne
People love to hate on this guy, which shows you just how big he's become. Y'all know his story by now. Personally I think he's a fascinating experiment--literally raised by the Hip-Hop industry. The formula worked after over a decade of solid grind, and Weezy went multi-plat despite a leaked album. Tha Carter 1 & 2 are classics and dude produces music at Makavelli speeds, showing no sign of slowing. I don't think people can deny it anymore; he's a game changer. The ante has been upped for every rapper operating in the age of the Internet. The latest to leak:



4. Mikkey Halsted
This list just keeps building on itself. Wayne cited this dude as one of his biggest influences--moreso than Gille The Kid, who claimed to have ghostwritten for Weezy. Mikkey's story is an interesting one. Kanye did his demo tape and they were both signed by Cash Money, but Yeezy dipped off to The Roc and fame at the last minute. Mikkey, meanwhile, who was slated to be Juvi's replacement, recorded a lot of tracks that got locked away in a vault by the much maligned Birdman. He's back, though, and is more poetic than anyone out there. He's more than buzzworthy in the Chi, and when his No ID-produced Chicago: The Photo Album sees release on a major label in the near future, dude's gonna blow up. Till then, check out his flawless mixtape:


5. Plies
If you think my list loses credibility by including this man, you can go curl up in your bed and cry about your favorite genre while you listen to Nas through expensive headphones. Plies is hot, he's getting some of the most interesting production around right now and he released three full-length studio albums in a year and a half (Definition of Real is my personal fav). Some chide him for his often monosyllabic rhyming, but I think he's really coming into his own. No one does charming, levelheaded vulgarity like this guy. His earliest records are bangers:


There's more to come. Production's next.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Wha?

Well, this is a real kick in the teeth for my "businesses are sociopaths" theory.

Walgreen's to Treat the Unemployed and Uninsured for Free


Granted, it is fabulous marketing -- I didn't even know Walgreen's had in-store clinics -- and it doesn't cover everything, but this still boggles my mind. Actually, it's this and the fact that Pepsi literally clothed the huddled masses at the Obama inauguration, while the Boy Scouts handed out shoddy little flags. I don't have very high expectations of the Boy Scouts either, but still.

Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule, but even if Walgreen's is doing this for purely nefarious reasons, such as to build brand loyalty among those who can't afford care anyway, it's a very positive sign. If ethics are at such a premium with the public that companies find it advantageous to do this sort of thing, then it becomes much easier to avoid the whole corporate dystopian nightmare scenario. This is predicated on the public paying attention and being alert to trickery, though, and the jury is still out on that.

Nonetheless, bravo to Walgreen's.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Google is spying on you...

And it's incredibly useful! I set up Google Analytics for this here blog last week. This was just in time to see a brief spike in readership. Apparently some lunatic decided we should be on Digg, which brought us up to all of twelve visitors that day.

There is some interesting (and statistically insignificant) data to be gathered here: congratulations to our single visitor using Safari with Windows. And at this sample size, I have pretty strong intuitions as to how we have five visits from Macau.

-- And I see we've picked up Ireland today. Greetings, Irish visitor! There is about a 40% chance you are somebody I know who is in Ireland! If so, I hope you are well. If not, good luck to you anyway.

Also, both our hits from Canada were for pictures of Emmitt the Enraged Marmot, via Google image search. Oh, those wacky, rodent-loving Canucks.

Er, anyway, back to our irregularly scheduled programming.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Drugs today

phenylephrine: 20mg
guaifenesin: 800mg
caffeine: 2 cups coffee, 1 can Coke
ibuprofen: 400 mg
alcohol: 3 pints beer, Hoegaarden

Well, I guess it's not so bad. I just wish it weren't necessary. Aside from the beer. But that was good anyway.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

New Poetry Blog

I've moved the vast majority of my poetry over to a new blog, Trouble Crossing Water. Hopefully this will lead to more poetry, because updating my old archive was a bit of a pain. A couple of old poems are missing yet, but new stuff is posted and the site is basically presentable now.

You should continue coming here to Albatross Hour for all your social theory, hip hop, and whimsical narrative interlude needs.

Sunday, March 08, 2009


I think we should make this a hip-hop blog.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Four Approaches to Discontent

So, let's say we've proven that now are the zombies of our discontent. What's an angry young radical to do? How does one cope with total dissatisfaction with the structure of society? There are four approaches:

Revolution: Vive la aformentioned, comrade! Revolution is a hoot. Everybody get worked up, or at least a significant force of guerillas, and things get overthrown... but then it's up to you to implement the whole thing at once, and this is very complicated, especially if you are merely a right-handed pitcher with an enthusiasm for cigars and rambling speeches. Also, even if you intend to primarily work through violence, you are going to need a sympathetic public. This requires some fairly specific conditions, and a revolutionary without popular support is just a terrorist. Of course, you can go the non-violent route. There are both practical and ethical reasons to do this. Plus, you need to do something to get people angry while you are waiting around for the proper historical dialectic. Of course, some folks would rather avoid all that mess, which leads them to...

Gradualism: Hey look, a system for enacting change! Assuming you live in a more-or-less constitutional republic, you may be fortunate enough to live in a society that can adapt to the will of the people before they pull out the torches and pitchforks. The election of Barack Obama has of course significantly bouyed this sentiment in the USA. After all, gradualism does require that "change for the better" be a plausible concept. "Listening to reason" is also a popular catchphrase. Gradualism requires a lot of compromise -- it helps if you do not shoot anyone -- and continued pressure from the public. For this reason, you need a public that is not overwhelmingly distracted by shiny objects... Gradualists tend to support education as well. Of course, when your plan for success involves raising the next generation to be more likely to support change, you are admitting that things do not look so hot in the near-term. That's gradualism.

Seperatism: Of course, you could just say fuck that and start your own society, with blackjack and hookers -- or bigamy. And that's why we have Nevada and Utah. Separatism covers everything from survivalist militias to hippie communes. But unlike the previous approaches, which require popular support, anybody and his five smelly friends can be separatist. Pure seperatism is difficult, as it requires total self-sufficiency, but as long as you're content to interact with a corrupt capitalist/carnivorous/Godless/one-corner-world system only sporadically, you have a lot of options. Perhaps you can even serve as an example to others, although then your ideas will need to scale to a real society. I mean, we can't all be bigamists, can we? The answer, surprisingly, is yes, but it involves some rather complicated social graphs. We can expect a real resurgence in separatism if we ever figure out how to cheaply colonize space (or even the oceans). It's the same "free land -> anarchy" equation I laid out for the Internet -- and frankly, life on a hydroponic Rastafarian space station doesn't sound all that bad. Still, be sure you can afford to import soap.

Apathy: On the other hand, you may not give a shit. Sometimes change doesn't seem that plausible, and you can't get yourself worked up enough to leave your family and friends for Mars or South Dakota (Mars is the red one). Well, apathy is for you, my friend, no matter how upset it's going to make George Orwell. He will not be coming to your birthday party. Or maybe there's no hope for change and you have no means of separation -- but this is pretty rare, and you should maybe go check on your broke, oppressed neighbors and see if they don't really want to go for option #1. Unless of course you're in a police state and can't trust them not to turn you in. In this case, it is probably best to feign apathy and keep one eye on the nearest source of asylum at all times. Apathy is only really viable when things are really, tremendously shite, or when they aren't that bad at all. But it is an option, so I've included it.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Unexpected Chart Comic



Yeah, it needs a little editing.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Democracy is Not the Issue Here, Part 2

Continuing our nascent foray into social theory blogging... with another ridiculous wall of text:

I concluded my first post by claiming that "money buys noise". But first, let's take a closer look at Digg and other aggregators, and then onto "long-tail" theory and its supposed rebuttals.

Digg, unlike many sites, is straightforwardly democratic: users vote various pages up or down. For popular items there is a feedback loop: items with more positive votes are displayed more prominently, and thus have a greater opportunity to receive votes. It's negative voting that presents the most problems, however, as it allows controversial items to be denied significant consideration. As a result, we would expect the average successful item to have a broad base of appeal be quickly digestible (no Digg item that takes more than one sitting to process will have any success). I have no extensive experience with Digg, so I'll leave the final analysis to others. The governmental analog is a kind of collectivized democracy, a cross between classical Athens and Soviet Russia... with a nod to the immediacy and frivolity of the 24-hour news cycle.

As an adjunct to anarchy, Digg is not terribly troublesome; as long as there exist Diggers who are exploring the Internet in depth, uncommon items will have at least have an opportunity to rise. As a content aggregator, Digg is supposed to make interesting content easier to find; the complexity of the interlinked web is reduced to a single, linear space. The argument against this is that it reduces an infinite homesteader-style prairie into a crowded tenement (with a penthouse on top). It certainly does make things easier-to-find, though... Ah, there it is. If you like what comes to the top, Digg improves the signal-to-noise ratio of the Internet. But if the things on Digg are so common that you've already seen them, you aren't going to stick around (or do you? and do you vote them up or down?). If the aggressive explorers abandon the site, this should produce a vicious cycle of ever-more-limited content and ever-less-intrepid content locators.

Of course, it should not surprise anyone that popular things are more popular than unpopular things, but there has been a great deal of sturm and drang over just what the coefficients should be in this equation. Chris Anderson of Wired is credited with coining the term "long-tail" theory, to describe the phenomenon where, on the web, it is possible to profit from selling a large number of unpopular works. For example, let's look at this counterpoint from the Wall Street Journal, that constant friend to egalitarian theories:
"By Mr. Anderson's calculation, 25% of Amazon's sales are from its tail, as they involve books you can't find at a traditional retailer. But using another analysis of those numbers -- an analysis that Mr. Anderson argues isn't meaningful -- you can show that 2.7% of Amazon's titles produce a whopping 75% of its revenues. Not quite as impressive."

I hope what you're taking away from this is that the glass is clearly half-empty, and that Amazon sell a lot of books -- millions of titles in fact. Amazon sells over 25 million different titles, 2.7% of which is about 675,000. Quick, how many books fit in the average bookstore? This is not exactly the New York Times best-seller list. And it fails to consider the most important question: how did these books become part of the privileged 2.7%? How many of them were at one point part of the tail? And, and one more thing... Are they any good?

Back to that in a minute. I have someone to be angry at, the writer of this Slate article :

But according to Elberse, that sort of anecdote is the exception. The reason? We're not very adventurous. Elberse examined the rental habits of customers at Quickflix, a Netflix-like service in Australia. She found that no group of customers exhibited "a particular taste for the obscure." Sure, a small number of customers regularly rented films from deep in the catalog—but they tended to be people who watched a lot of movies generally and so had much more "capacity" for venturing into the Long Tail. And still they chose a lot of hits: The most widely traveling Quickflix customers picked only 8 percent of their rentals from the least popular of available titles and 34 percent from among blockbusters.

Science journalism is doomed. We aren't given anything to tie those percentages to. We're given a lot of arbitrary mosts and leasts. But let me pull a Wall Street Journal here: there is some portion of Australian mail-service film-renters, for whom two-thirds of the movies they watch are not "blockbusters." And of course, that's ignoring that such a service appeals to people who watch a lot of films (because it is monthly), and encourages them to watch films indiscriminately (because they can get as many as they want). But let's just look at that "particular taste for the obscure" line. Of course there won't be such a group... if I take the sum of all people who watched a film of (let's say) 92% obscurity, I am actually taking the average of several different obscure tastes. Where do I end up? the center! magic! Whereas if I take the group of all people who have watched rented no "blockbusters," clearly, I have such a group. Furthermore, movies are probably the most homogenized major media.

You want a long tail success story? Talk to someone whose business model didn't exist fifteen years ago. Talk to a guy selling T-shirts for a living, while providing content for free. Talk to some guys who can raise millions of dollars because they make funny pictures about video games. Yes, webcomics are our cultural standard-bearers. God bless 'em.

Wait, actually, let's look at films... why are there films that everyone has seen? Because people are only aware of movies that are showing in theaters, which are large, expensive buldings to establish and maintain. Theaters want to be assured that the movies they show will attract an audience. They want a professional movie. This requires cameras, technicians, stagehands, extras, and a whole infrastructure that simply is not required to write Finnegan's Wake. They want professional actors, preferably famous, so that you don't need to spend any effort convincing people you have good actors. They want a professional marketing campaign, so that no matter how lousy the movie is, people will see it before word-of-mouth sinks it. By the way, did I mention money buys noise?

The businesses of advertising is almost wholly based on this. Word of mouth is the gold-standard form of buzz, because by definition it comes from known, trusted sources. The hyperlink structure of the web is modeled on academic citation, which is just a more rigorous version of word of mouth. In recent years, as advertising audiences have become more sophisticated, cynical, or perhaps just overstimulated, advertisers have gone to greater and greater lengths to inspire trust (hint: you should not trust them). Of course, people know you shouldn't trust advertisers, which has inspired disguised advertisements or "guerrilla marketing," the goal of which is to inject advertisement into a normally trusted or at least independent source -- paid bloggers, press releases disguised as journalism. This tactic is also favored by spammers and computer viruses, e.g., sending the virus to everyone in your e-mail address book. The citizens of the Athenian democracy knew it as the "Trojan horse" tactic. Taken to its logical conclusion, "guerrilla marketing" eventually produces the total breakdown of society as we know it -- by gradually voiding every source of information beyond your immediate social circle. Hooray?

Okay, that's a little far-fetched, because we have things like the Better Business Bureau and people are still furious when you violate their trust. And maybe I'm being a little hasty in autamatically categorizing advertising as "noise" (shameless falsehood, if you prefer). Advertising can contain information: the name of the product, various facts about it. You may be interested in the product. But you probably aren't -- and you can't trust those facts without independent verification (information that is part-right wastes far more time than bald-faced lies). At least you shouldn't trust them, because businesses are sociopaths.

Not that I think the average businessperson is a sociopath -- possibly a greater percentage than the human average, due to selection bias -- but large, publicly-owned companies (the kind best positioned to put money into advertising) are large, complicated entities with highly abstracted chains of responsibility. Most include in their charter a clause which promises to "maximize shareholder value." This encourages company executives to put stock price above all other concerns, for fear they may be sued otherwise. If a corporation is to be considered legally a person, it must be conceded that rarely is anyone in position to act as a conscience. Now, corporations are not evil: they are very specifically sociopaths -- for my purposes, this means having no empathy but stil having ability to feign empathy if it provides advantage. In a system that does not actively prevent it, sociopathic businesses will be the most successful, as they have no moral restrictions to their actions.

Now, suppose you are a sociopath in a position of power, and that your products occupy a dominant position in the marketplace. Will you focus on providing accurate information to consumers? Rationally, you should attempt to build arbitrary brand loyalty and discourage the use or even awareness of your competitors. You do this by, respectively, exaggerating differences in your product (to prevent commodification) and disparaging all attributes of your competitor. Both of these are noisy. In fact, it is in your interest to generally increase the amount of noise in all channels. As the established player, you are in favor of the status quo, so any free flow of accurate information has potentially negative consequences on your market share. So, for example, by taking control of one channel of information and spreading doubt and uncertainty about other channels, you can easily make it far too difficult for people to bother.

As examples, which just occurred to me in force, I present to you A) the demonization of bloggers by the mainstream media, and B) the demonization of the mainstream media by Republican talk radio types.

Epiphanies aside, this should demonstrate that long-tail theory is not necessarily a fact of human existence -- it's a fact of a capitalist economy with significant information inefficiencies. At the very least, this should have a severe effect on the rate of change in the "hump" of the popularity curve, which in turn would flatten the long-term shape of the curve.

Democratic systems on the Internet are almost certainly more homogeneous than anarchical/networked systems, but we can't say by how much unless we have a way to remove external stabilizing/noise-creating forces from the system.

One more quick thought: for the general benefit, it is necessary to construct systems of laws that do not advantage sociopaths. To the extent that a system allows money to be accumulated by sociopaths, and moreso to the extent that the system allows money to be converted into power, that system is primed for failure (not collapse, necessarily, but failure to "promote the general welfare," as the Constitution puts it). This suggests, at minimum, that all political campaigns should be publicly financed and that there should be strict oversight of political advertisement. On the more general point of "noise-pollution" in information channels, the solution is more difficult, but should involve tighter truth-in-advertising laws, a rigorous and even-handed fourth estate, and most importantly a cultural movement towards intellectual curiosity, critical thinking, and the absolute refusal to tolerate being lied to.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Democracy is Not the Issue Here

As my colleague Ethan has been kind enough to supply me with a starting point, I will attempt to refute him.

He correctly points out the problems of unabridged democracy, but he fails to consider the defining factors of the internet. Let's take two of the primary missions of government: protecting its citizens and maintaining an orderly distribution of resources.

Firstly, individuals on the Internet are incapable of harming each other in any serious fashion*. To the extent that the Internet mirrors the Athenian forum, each of us is maneuvering across it in a little bullet-proof Pope-mobile, which is also blessed with the power of teleportation. The potential for tyranny of the majority here is rather limited.


Governments also concern themselves with the distribution of various limited resources. And from the territorial perspective, the Internet is without bounds. Land is cheap and the construction of any edifice is limited purely by time and the skill of the architect. Anyone** can have a website, and even more so a blog, MySpace profile, Facebook account, Youtube videos. These are all proprietary services, of course, but they are all products of the cheap-space economy. So if communities can't control what you own, where you are, or what you do, what do you have to fear from government?

Well, alright, it is possible to restrict movement on the internet, as the government of China is happy to demonstrate -- you just need to control or have leverage on the entire infrastructure. This, of course, is the reason for net-neutrality advocacy -- to pressure actual governments into preserving the Internet as a level playing field with a low entry cost. ISPs, Governments, and backbone providers all have the ability to change the "laws" of the internet, but from the internal perspective these are more like physical laws.

But really, what I am trying to get across is that the Internet isn't a democracy, it's an anarchy -- at least for the individual consumer. From the view of a business, it is far more of a democracy. That's the beauty of advertising revenues -- everyone's eyeballs are assumed to be equally valuable (They aren't, especially if you want to get statistical, but it's close enough). A retailer or content provider may very well consider itself at risk of being voted out of existence if no one uses their site. But this is just capitalism layered on top of anarchy. A slightly different mechanism holds for sites dependent upon community acceptance or involvement, such as Wikipedia. Although in raw form, Wiki editing is fairly anarchical as well -- it's only when you zoom out to an extended time frame that the results look democratic.

So if your options are unlimited and no one can tell you what to do, where's the catch? In a word: noise. The currency of the Internet is information. You can go anywhere, but you need to know how to get there, and you need to derive some utility from what you find there. Utility here is anything from lower prices on bulk sorghum to intellectual debate to pictures of cats -- assuming you wanted pictures of cats. If you wanted pictures of cats and I give you hardcore pornography, your interests are not being served. Because of this, search engines are the biggest enablers of the Internet as we know it.

The search engine is an inherently meritocratic idea; your position is determined by your relevance to the question at hand. As a website owner, you don't need to do anything beyond create the site. Just be relevant, and Google or Yahoo or MSN will come find you and tell people you've got what they want -- and these people will tell their friends, and link you on their blogs or Facebooks or what-have-you. Even better, these days, most engines (Google most notably) will account for this word-of-mouth support by increasing your relevance score. At least in theory. Now back to that bit about noise.

Noise is anything bad (subjectively) that gets mixed in with what you want (the signal). If your information is noisy, it costs you more time to pick out the signal. If you can't effectively search for what you want, you just aren't going to bother. This is why no one tries to get a date by flipping through the phone book. Actually, that one is noisy both ways -- you probably wouldn't want to date someone who cold-called you from the phone book (which makes you less likely to try). It's also why no one is reading this essay by this point. And this is why advertising is the most dangerous thing for the egalitarian internet. Money buys noise.

I'm going to stop there before this becomes completely unwieldy, and expand on this in another post. Suffice to say, I don't see democracy as the problem. "Of course not," you may say, "Dumb people are the problem." Nope, not even them. Part 2 coming soon, I hope. Christ! Why is analyzing society from the ground up so complicated?

*Identity theft and fraud being the exceptions -- and this will play into my larger point.

**Above a fairly low economic threshold, at least in the developed world.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Zombie Apocalypse, Significance Thereof

I suspect that more of our culture than is immediately apparent is apocalyptic, or based on either an anticipation or desire for change. Even with the extremely cathartic election of Barack Obama, there is a sense that we are about to hit the trough of an economic "long wave", which have tended to occur every fifty to sixty years. The Great Depression was the last such trough, although a case can be made for the late seventies (oil crises, stagflation, and the end of the post-war boom). President Obama brought up the idea of American decline rather early in his inaugural address (at 5 minutes here), though he of course wishes to prevent it.

In any case, the past few decades have already seen communication and entertainment democratized and changed drastically by the Internet and the ubiquity of cellular phones. Technology appears to grow exponentially, which leads to the scenario of technological singularity, in which we create computers that invent smarter computer ad infinitum. While this is not necessarily apocalyptic in the negative sense, it is likely that society would need to be radically altered. Much of Asimov's robot fiction can be seen as dealing with the tipping point of the singularity: the point where robots/computers are competitive with humans, but not completely superior. WALL-E is probably the best recent depiction of post-scarcity humans -- fat and complacent through the simple fact of not having anything useful to do.

Because of this, a straightforward projection of the present system is not particularly comforting, even for those of us inclined -- sometimes feverishly so -- to the creation of "true" artificial intelligence. This of course leaves aside many valid reasons for discontent with society in the present tense. But it does seem that dystopian fiction -- wherein society is projected forward to an appalling but recognizable state -- has fallen out of favor since a peak in the 80s. Blade Runner is the seminal work of film here, and Neuromancer the literary touchstone.

What we have seen recently is the revival of zombie horror, and zombie survivalism as a topic of speculation among young intellectuals. The revival of zombies (as a cultural rather than physical phenomenon) has been especially strong in video games, where zombies provide an inherent atmosphere and an opponent whose physical durability and mental shortcomings have obvious explanations. Post-apocalypticism also traces much of its popularity to the 80s of course, Terminator and Road Warrior being the prime examples. It must be noted, however, that Kevin Costner almost single-handedly killed the genre in the mid-90s with Waterworld and The Postman. Zombies in and of themselves have also been present in American culture since the 60s, most notably in the works of George Romero. Dawn of the Dead is probably the first movie to address the concept of the "zombie apocalypse," though it does so with considerably more pessimism than the current trend, which has synthesized zombies and post-apocalypticism with zeal.

More substantial analyses can be made of zombies and apocalypticism in literature and film, but my immediate goal here has been simply to demonstrate that the downfall of society as we know it is the subject of heavy speculation in some circles. This suggests that a total collapse of the present socio-economic order is seen as either likely or desirable. But consider that in the present trend the agent of destruction is zombies, which are in principle non-existent and fantastical (setting aside "zombie realism", most notably the virus hypothesis and 28 Days Later). In the 80s, the culturally-anticipated apocalypse was the very real threat of nuclear war. Whether such a war was ever likely is dubious, but anyone looking possible causes of the downfall of humanity did not need to look very far. And while singular nuclear weapons remain alarming (see the nuking of Los Angeles in 24), large-scale nuclear war is no longer plausible. Ergo, zombie apocalypticism originates from a sense of discontent with the current course of society, or at least one's place therein.

...This was originally just going to be a lead-in for a post about discontent, but it got a little out of hand, so I'm going to do that another time.

Please comment if you find this interesting and/or think I am full of shit on this.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Joie de Vivre

At 6:30am, on a Monday morning, there is Latin music blasting from the apartment next door. Several people are shouting along with the music. Dancing is implied. Since I spent much of my weekend in Brooklyn, I cannot guarantee that this party is contiguous with the one that began Friday evening, but I am beginning to suspect. While I admire their audacity, this is perhaps going too far.

In these circumstances, I began to ponder my own mortality, and whether or not I should have spent the entire weekend drinking Sparks (may perpetual light shine upon it).

Monday, December 29, 2008

Post-Apocrypha

On Friday, I left work and headed directly to LaGuardia, so I could get home for pseudo-Christmas (Saturday) and get drunk for pseudo-Christmas Eve. Fortunately, my flight was delayed only 20 minutes, up to the point where the plane circled above O'Hare for an hour, and we made an unplanned stopover in Dayton to refuel. Despite an extended stay on the tarmac, we were not able to leave the plane. After some apparent difficulties (Pilot: "as you can see out the left, the fuel truck is right over there, [not refuelling us for some reason, those shitheads] -- it was pretty clear from his tone), we set out again for O'Hare, a mere four hours late. The reason: unseasonably warm weather. No, really, melting snow, light rain, and a fortuitous dewpoint had rendered Chicago and impenetrable gray mass.

I slept through the last leg of the trip, and when I awoke found we were maneuvering aimlessly across the taxiways of O'Hare. At least, I presumed it was O'Hare -- There were no landmarks to speak of. There was still snow on the ground, frozen in windblown drift and emitting streams of vapor, which mixed into the ambient fog. The ony visible objects were bright but hazy blue lights, and meaningless letters and numerals, which emerged inconsistently from the ground. We steered right and left among the roadways tangled roadways, with no sound but the steady thrum of the idling jets. The landscape, as far as could be determined, was achingly flat and endless, bordered in the far distance by glaring orange and yellow fuzzes of light. As this went on, I began to believe we had entered not an airport but a stange, endless, ensorcelled country, doomed to wander an eternity among snow and wind and fog, seeing just far enough to feel the vastness of the terrain.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Movin' On Up

I've been promoted, sort of. From Front-Office-Support-Understudy to Back-Office-Support-Understudy. This is an upgrade because it involves more databases and fewer quizzes about economic terms. Also more programming. Yesterday I successfully added a feature to one of the in-house programs, which ferries information between the market data feed and our trading platform. My mission: to add an error pop-ups when the program lost a connection. My mission after first contact with the code: to add the ability to detect a lost connection. Despite the resulting vast increase in scope, I was eventually successful.

A note on support: The people who make ORC (our trading platform) have certain flaws, but they have achieved one great triumph: naming the ORC administration tool "SAURON". Both of these are acronyms, of course.

A note on living: While today's shift to something more like useful work is heartening, I am still living my life at someone else's behest. This seems like an inherently unstable situation. Ideally, of course, someone would hand me a large some of money with the instructions, "Go do something you enjoy." Unreasonable though this is, it leaves open the options of research, start-up company, and music. Paul Graham is especially convincing on the startup front, and also has several essays on programming.

Also I bought a book on Erlang, a functional programming language which specializes in concurrent programming. The trend toward multicore processors makes this more important than ever -- unless specifically designed for it, a program can only run on one processor. Going to Borders convinces me I am unusual; there are plenty of books of C++ for Dummies, Beginning PHP, Java for Transorbital Lobotomy Patients, The Bipedal Lizard's Guide to SQL. My secret hope is to discover a book of Perl for Unscrupulous Lunatics or Javascript for the Dangerously Intelligent. Those books will get my money in an instant. I settled for Programming Erlang, with the knowledge that it was written by one of the language's designers (Joe Armstrong).

Also, if you are not familiar with FLCL/Furi Kuri/Fooly Cooly, well, you should be. It has been greatly enhancing my week. It is an anime about puberty, guitars, robots, and mostly about surrealism.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Unearthly

As I waited for the A-train, two men set up steel drums and began playing arrangements of Christmas carols. Slightly further down, there was a man playing a large, stringed, African instrument I do not no the name of. It was high-pitched and ringing, plucked in rapid arpeggios, and probably not tuned in a Western scale. He paused when the steel drummers began, and glanced over. Then he resumed, and began playing harmony, intentionally or not -- given the instruments, they have been bound to sync up on some perceived tempo and harmonic. The effect was poly-rhythmic, with orchestral level of harmony; all three instruments echoed off the tunnel walls as well. Hauntingly strange -- and all colliding over, for example, "Silent Night."

I had already seen the man with the African instrument yesterday. It's lovely on its own as well. I have a rule, actually, that if I have never seen an instrument before, I am required to give the musician money. Unique things should be rewarded.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Terror from the Deep

Remember that scene in Independence Day where the alien breaks loose in the lab and controls the dead scientist with his tentacles?

Your nightmares have arrived.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

In Which the Chinese will Destroy Us All

I took this picture with the most ridiculously lousy camera I have ever seen, and I include my cell phone. It is 2-1/2" x 1-3/4" x 3/4" and it cost me $9.99. I did not expect much, but all the same I had to buy it, just to reconcile the concept of "10-dollar digital camera" with my reality. With a maximum resolution of 352x288 (and many of these pixels are dead), it is just over 30% as resolute as my free-with-contract phone.

On the other hand, Verizon charges $0.25 per picture I take off my phone.

And even more ridiculously, the thing is also a fully functional webcam, a function for which it is somewhat less embarassing, especially for 10 bucks.

To put some perspective on this, try to guess how long ago this shit would have been state-of-the-art spy hardware. "Agent Slaptyback, take this camera: it fits in the palm of your hand, doesn't use film, and can provide a live video feed once you've planted it."

And it's a keychain!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Insult to Injury

I was watching last Thursday's Daily Show on Hulu, which features a segment on the failing American auto industry. It was brought to me, per Hulu standards, by a single sponsor: Nissan.

Monday, November 24, 2008

No Manhattan is an Island

...Actually it's quite a nice island.

I live near the highest point of an island made of solid rock. This is a very strange notion. I discovered this evening that a mere quarter-mile east of me is quite a stunning overlook, consisting of massive, irregular pieces of jutting bedrock. The view is perhaps less stunning than the overlook, but it offers the Harlem River, high-rise across the way in the Bronx, and some very large bridges to the South -- all lit up bright as day, of course.

A quarter-mile can get you quite out of the way, relatively speaking. I haven't been that way before, as my block is bounded by Broadway and St. Nicholas, both major streets (Broadway, you might have guessed) that supply pretty much anything you can think of, and I have been preoccupied with exploring these for food and supplies. The side streets along the... side... of the island are quite deserted at 8 PM, and rather spooky, with empty playgrounds and basketball courts in the park just down the slope.

I imagine it is quite pleasant and pretty in the daytime (especially when it isn't winter), in much the same way as the lakefront in Chicago (though a bit steeper). It's surprisingly easy to gain a sense of stillness and isolation, even in such a busy area.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Tragedies

-That I cannot find a useful sports bar within walking distance of my apartment. Lacking anyone to see the Bears game with, I inquired with Google Maps. The suggested bar did not exist, although another may be "coming soon" to replace it. I then wandered randomly southeast, and chanced upon another supposed "sports bar" ... which was also closed. Highly mysterious.

-That I don't get a chance to wander about the neighborhood more often. The latter sports bar was along Harlem River Drive, which supplies a scenic overlook of the river and the Bronx. Manhattan is really quite pretty around the edges. I live at more or less the highest point on the island (also near the proudly-labeled "Highest Laundromat") . The structure of my work day (~7:30-5:30) prevents me from doing much during daylight during the week.

-That I don't own a camera. It's on my short list of things to acquire, after which this blog will become much more visual.

Non-Tragedy:
I have successfully acquired a couch from the furniture store down the street. Additionally, it folds down into a bed. Surprisingly, it is a better bed as a couch than as a bed. C'est la vie.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Long Road Back to Civilization

Today I bought a toaster, and a bottle opener, and a pot in which to cook pasta. Perhaps tomorrow I will buy pasta. The unfurnished life presents challenges; On arrival, my parents and I were forced to open beer with a slot-jaw wrench, because they had gotten me a 155-piece tool set, but no bottle opener. I have been using the box cutter to make curtains, as mentioned Wednesday.

Perhaps someday soon I shall own a couch.

I go now to drink El Presidente, a Dominican beer in a Czech style (Pilsener). It is pretty good, actually.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Water Hazard

In the shower, the "C" knob should be understood to mean "Caliente." The "H" indicates "Hola, tengo agua fria." The can lead to confusion.

Strangely enough, this was the case in my last apartment as well. Credit for the "caliente" line goes to this fellow, who is on the run from the law in Nicaragua.

One Day in New York City, Baby...

-Actually, it's been five days, but Neutral Milk Hotel ("Ghost") is still stuck in my head. I arrived Friday afternoon with my parents, and proceded to haul various of my belongings up to the fourth floor of a pre-war building in Washington Heights, a neighborhood less than half a mile wide, due to the difficulty of building on the East and Hudson Rivers.

-Yes, I have an apartment. All by me onesies, as they say here -- actually, that may be London, I 'll get back to you. I have begun decorating, mainly by recasting dollar-store shower curtains as non-shower curtains (thrift is the new irony).

-And by God, there are a lot of dollar stores, but there's one in my neighborhood that actually means it. Anything without a label is 99 cents. So technically it is a 99-cent store, and is labeled as such.

-One of the distinguishing features of New York is that most things are bigger, and those which are not are comically small. There are 20 Manhattan blocks per mile, yet each contains at least one each of grocery, pharmacy, laundromat, 99-cent store, Chinese restaurant, deli, and liquor store. The average "supermarket" is under 12 feet wide.

-Also, the average liquor store does not sell beer, but is strictly "wine and liquors." The silver lining here is that the pharmacy will sell you beer. Aren't liquor laws wacky?

-As an aside, I do not recommend Leinenkugel's "Sunset Wheat". Normally I am enthused about beers involving wheat. However, this is because most such beers do not taste alarmingly of Fruity Pebbles. A little heavy on the "natural flavors" added, guys.

-I have seen the face of evil and it is IKEA. Specifically, the IKEA on Red Hook, which is a tremendously unhelpful series of labyrinths for anyone who does not intend to build a new house and fill it entirely with IKEA furniture. This would not be so bad, except that getting onto Red Hook is impossible via surface roads. It took us quite a while to learn this. The advantage of Red Hook is that the IKEA store actually has its own dock and cranes. Yes, on the ocean. Did I mention it's rather large? On the upside, I have gained, for very reasonable prices, two tables, two chairs, and a bookcase. Hooray sitting!

-Hooray free internet. I have yet to register for internet service or any utilities. Also, I sleep on an air mattress. Were it not for the obscenity that is my rent, I could be squatting.

-I tried to get a sofa-bed at IKEA, but the cheap one was sold out. Unlike every other sold-out item, it was not labeled as such (I repeat, face of evil).

COMING SOON: 10-hour workdays: Also the face of evil?

Monday, November 03, 2008

r.i.p. studs

Experiments in XML

Blogger has changed the operation of it's templates again. I am told I can use a plethora of "widgets" and a graphical interface. I am seeing how much of that I can bypass by parsing this new template and just working with text.

Also, I figured how to add goddamn titles to our posts.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Note to Self: Become Airship Privateer

You probably didn't know that the Goodyear blimp Resolute was a privateer during WWII. When I thought that the United States hadn't issued a letter of marque (which authorizes privateering or other hostile actions by civilian parties) since the War of 1812, well, my goal of being a pirate just didn't seem viable. But now that I know that there have been licensed American sky pirates, a world of possibilities has opened up.

Who wants in?

Now, you may ask, how on Earth would we get a letter of marque these days? You can vote for Ron Paul, that's how. Yes, Ron Paul, Republican congressman and noted coot, thinks the U.S. should encourage anti-terrorist privateering. Really, the only question is what to name our lighter-than-air death-dealing machine. I propose the USS Howard Taft. Or possibly Lighter Than Bombs.

(Paid for by the Alliance of Privateers and Sky Pirates for Ron Paul)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Did you know there was a new maciej-powered blog afoot?  Now you do.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

In Defense of Auto-Tune


Anyone who keep at least half an ear turned towards the state of pop music today knows what Auto-Tune is. And even if someone can’t identify it by that name, chances are if you say, “you know, the T-Pain effect,” they’ll catch on quickly. Indeed, T-Pain has made truckloads of money off the simple vocal modulation software, turning his otherwise mundane voice into a hectic, delirious hook machine. By using this newfound voice to storm the Billboard charts, T-Pain brought Auto-Tune to the attention of many other hip-hop and pop artists. An interesting article published this summer in the New Yorker includes an interview with T-Pain, and details the history of the software, which dates back to 1997 and a Cher hit single. Now, as more and more high profile artists (e.g. Lil Wayne and Kanye West) begin to employ Auto-Tune, more and more music critics and fans are clamoring for its destruction, claiming that it’s been played out and is standing in the way of artistic expression. In my opinion, they couldn’t be more wrong.

It’s important to remember that this type of vocal modulation did not enter the hip-hop realm yesterday. Let us not forget the late Roger Troutman’s classic hook (recorded using Auto-Tune’s grandfather—the vococorder) on 2pac’s smash hit “California Love.” Has the phrase “city of Compton” even been pronounced as fantastically? Of course, vocal modulation in this instance was limited to the chorus, and perhaps a few more eyebrows would have been raised if Pac himself had started distorting his own voice. But let us not make the same mistake as those who refuse to admit that the genre has any relevance since the demise of Pac and Biggie. Like any healthy genre, it has evolved, tried new things, and become something that is both different and the same. I propose that the increasing use of Auto-Tune is simply another hip-hop experiment. It may remain, it may die out relatively quickly, but while it’s here, why not embrace its artistic potential?

Consider the following examples. Lil Wayne, long claiming to be the best rapper alive, only scored his first number one hit after running his rasp through Auto-Tune. So, there’s no doubt that this shit sells records. But, there’s more to Lil Wayne’s use of the technology than a simple money grab. I would argue that it allows him to put even more inflection into an already ridiculously expressive voice. Take his track “Rider,” recorded over a revamped version of Pac’s “Ambitionz Az A Ridah” beat. Created early-on in Wayne’s experimentation with the Auto-Tune effect, it lends his voice a positively tortured quality, which couldn’t be more appropriate considering he is rapping and singing about an almost uncontrollable love for a woman. “You only like her, I’m trying to wife her,” he plaintively croons. And at about 2:19 into the song, the effect crescendos as Wayne repeats the chorus: “I won’t deny her, shawty is a ridah…” It’s hard to imagine this song working at all without Auto-Tune, but it remains one of the most interesting and passionate pieces that Wayne has recorded.

To draw from slightly more recent material (in an effort to prove that Auto-Tune has not yet exhausted its possibilities), consider the song “My Life” off The Game’s new album LAX and featuring Lil Wayne. The song takes a serious tone, as Wayne’s chorus conveys both the exhaustion of a hustler’s life, as well as the survivor’s guilt that one may feel from seeing their friends fall to violence, drugs, and the legal system. Heady stuff. The additional emotional impetus that Auto-Tune affords Wayne cannot be discounted, especially on words like “grinding,” “tired,” “lawd,” and “eyes wide.” It’s impressive stuff, it continuously sends chills across my skin, and I’m glad it exists. I can’t say it would be possible without Auto-Tune.

Finally, consider Kanye West. Featured on the song “Put On,” the first single off Young Jeezy’s new album The Recession, Kanye employs the Auto-Tune effect in his verse. Now, while the effect has been used primarily in choruses, artists like Lil Wayne have not been afraid to rap entire songs using it. “Rider” is one example, “Lollipop” another (though the lyrics to that particular track are so ridiculously puerile that we won’t take it into serious consideration). The result of spitting an Auto-Tune verse is a rap that is remarkably melodic. I’ve always considered the naturally melodic nature of Wayne’s voice one of his greatest assets as an emcee. Now artists like Kanye, whose voice can be about as melodic as a dead fish at times, can record something like his “Put On” verse—a rap that I sometimes catch myself whistling as I’m riding in elevators. Touching on the loss of his mother and the lonely nature of superstardom, Yeezy’s verse is packed with emotion, and it’s all vamped up to a higher level with Auto-Tune. His voice itself seems like it’s crying as he laments the fact that he has little in his life to find solace in anymore. The amount of anguish conveyed is stunning. It blows me away every time.

I write this because of the recent news that has leaked out about Kanye’s upcoming album. Apparently, he plans to use a whole heap of Auto-Tune and sing a lot. If true, it would be a wild direction to take, but, considering what this guy has had on his mind lately, could be a fantastic artistic endeavor. And, if his Auto-Tune work on “Put On” is any indication, this could work out extremely well. Yet, as I was reading the comments below the news story, I was surprised by how many people were furious with this possibility, griping about how Kanye has sold out, fallen in line with the rest of the crowd, etc. Please, people, let’s not damn the man and the entire Auto-Tune effect just because you’re tired of T-Pain. Auto-Tune will not change who a person is nor alter their innate artistic genius, it will simply provide a new and colorful palate with which to express themselves. Even with Auto-Tune, Kanye will still be Kanye, just as Lil Wayne is still Lil Wayne. They will not become T-Pain. T-Pain is T-Pain.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

There shall be rejoicing and dancing in the streets, for the evil one has finally left our fair city.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I'm glad I read xkcd. (xkcd)

This post brought to you by the Annoy Carl Wheeler Foundation for Annoying Carl Wheeler. (Carl Wheeler)